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Homeless 46 year old daughter and a son in jail
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<blockquote data-quote="Albatross" data-source="post: 697045" data-attributes="member: 17720"><p>Jodie, I think sometimes we see our feelings as something to "fix" and we end up making ourselves even more anxious, adding a label of WRONG, instead of just accepting that what we are feeling is a natural and appropriate emotion for a parent to have in these situations.</p><p></p><p>What would change, if we just allowed ourselves to FEEL...anxious, or angry, or sorrowful, etc., without adding the expectation that we have to alleviate it?</p><p></p><p>What if we could just relax into it and say, "Of course I'm going to feel that way. I'm their mother."</p><p></p><p>As COM has said, feelings aren't facts. We don't have to act on our feelings, especially when our actions won't fix anything.</p><p></p><p>All of the things Cedar mentioned above have helped me too, and so many others. One I remember still makes me smile...Cedar's description of a pirate woman hiking up her skirt and calling out to her son's captor: "Go ahead! I will make another!" What great fun, imagining having that mindset with our difficult ones. But it also pointed to a truth I think is easy to lose sight of. We are stronger than we give ourselves credit for. Our passions and feelings are evidence of that, not a sign of weakness.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Albatross, post: 697045, member: 17720"] Jodie, I think sometimes we see our feelings as something to "fix" and we end up making ourselves even more anxious, adding a label of WRONG, instead of just accepting that what we are feeling is a natural and appropriate emotion for a parent to have in these situations. What would change, if we just allowed ourselves to FEEL...anxious, or angry, or sorrowful, etc., without adding the expectation that we have to alleviate it? What if we could just relax into it and say, "Of course I'm going to feel that way. I'm their mother." As COM has said, feelings aren't facts. We don't have to act on our feelings, especially when our actions won't fix anything. All of the things Cedar mentioned above have helped me too, and so many others. One I remember still makes me smile...Cedar's description of a pirate woman hiking up her skirt and calling out to her son's captor: "Go ahead! I will make another!" What great fun, imagining having that mindset with our difficult ones. But it also pointed to a truth I think is easy to lose sight of. We are stronger than we give ourselves credit for. Our passions and feelings are evidence of that, not a sign of weakness. [/QUOTE]
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