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Homeless son's e-mail excerpt
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<blockquote data-quote="Deni D" data-source="post: 748957" data-attributes="member: 22840"><p>So he has access to a shower, a gym membership or something? He could get drinking water there also. </p><p></p><p>It's obvious he doesn't want to get help where he knows he can get it. Instead he wants you to be responsible for him and give him what he wants. There's nothing at all passive aggressive about suggesting a soup kitchen, case worker or ER. If he's got such a bad sunburn he can't move then an ER or urgent care would certainly be in order.</p><p></p><p>One of the most confusing things for me to work out with this kind of behavior (and I've had a lot of it with my son) has been is he really unable to do the smallest things for himself or is he holding out to get back on easy street with mom? In my situation I've learned what my son communicates to me is not exactly his situation. He will make out like he's in a dire situation and then later in the day someone will report a facebook post where he's hanging out or doing something entirely removed from his "dire situation". </p><p></p><p></p><p>Oh boy can I relate to this but in an opposite way. For me for many years when I've used my heart I've been yanked down the rabbit hole by my son. Now I recognize I'm staying in my head these days in dealings with my son. I don't like it, it feels so distancing and strange. But I think I have to until/if my son stops blaming his every inconvenience on me. I would love to be able to figure out how to use both my head and my heart with my son and still keep myself safe from the chaos of his life. </p><p></p><p>My son could have written that email, has written many very similar one's. All of the guilt tripping and manipulations when he could very well have gotten what he needs for himself, and most likely had before he even wrote it.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Deni D, post: 748957, member: 22840"] So he has access to a shower, a gym membership or something? He could get drinking water there also. It's obvious he doesn't want to get help where he knows he can get it. Instead he wants you to be responsible for him and give him what he wants. There's nothing at all passive aggressive about suggesting a soup kitchen, case worker or ER. If he's got such a bad sunburn he can't move then an ER or urgent care would certainly be in order. One of the most confusing things for me to work out with this kind of behavior (and I've had a lot of it with my son) has been is he really unable to do the smallest things for himself or is he holding out to get back on easy street with mom? In my situation I've learned what my son communicates to me is not exactly his situation. He will make out like he's in a dire situation and then later in the day someone will report a facebook post where he's hanging out or doing something entirely removed from his "dire situation". Oh boy can I relate to this but in an opposite way. For me for many years when I've used my heart I've been yanked down the rabbit hole by my son. Now I recognize I'm staying in my head these days in dealings with my son. I don't like it, it feels so distancing and strange. But I think I have to until/if my son stops blaming his every inconvenience on me. I would love to be able to figure out how to use both my head and my heart with my son and still keep myself safe from the chaos of his life. My son could have written that email, has written many very similar one's. All of the guilt tripping and manipulations when he could very well have gotten what he needs for himself, and most likely had before he even wrote it. [/QUOTE]
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