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<blockquote data-quote="Fran" data-source="post: 371358" data-attributes="member: 3"><p>You have heard from parents who have been there and know your pain. Me too. It was an extreme act of selflessness and love for a mom to say "I can't help him, can someone else try" It goes against every grain of parental self esteem and pride. It is an ultimate sacrifice done for a child who is struggling. It is not punishment and it is not throwing away a kid. </p><p>He does miss home and your heart is broken. It is a fact but being a parent isn't about immediate gratification but the big picture.</p><p>It's up to us to stand back a bit and ask yourself "what does my child need?" </p><p>You know he needs to learn self control, behavior changes, introspection and above all else how to function appropriately in the world. My difficult child was not a manipulative sort of character. He was just lost and couldn't find his way. He needed help to find how to get to the right path and nothing I did was making it better. </p><p>Your other children deserve knowledge that they will live in a safe and stable home. </p><p></p><p>Let's face it, all families have limitations. I am no where near equipped to be a therapeutic professional 24/7 plus a parent to difficult child and my other children and be a spouse and partner. You couldn't handle him and neither could any of us. Heck, Residential Treatment Facility (RTF) with it's trained professionals couldn't handle my difficult child in the beginning. It's not a failure. It's our sad reality. </p><p>What you were doing wasn't working. </p><p>You are trying something else but you have to let it run it's course. He is homesick but he is 14 and not 6. He has understanding that he is there due to his behavior and to learn a better way. He has to learn what he was doing isn't working for the family. </p><p>Put your mommy pain away and do what is in the best interest of the child.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Fran, post: 371358, member: 3"] You have heard from parents who have been there and know your pain. Me too. It was an extreme act of selflessness and love for a mom to say "I can't help him, can someone else try" It goes against every grain of parental self esteem and pride. It is an ultimate sacrifice done for a child who is struggling. It is not punishment and it is not throwing away a kid. He does miss home and your heart is broken. It is a fact but being a parent isn't about immediate gratification but the big picture. It's up to us to stand back a bit and ask yourself "what does my child need?" You know he needs to learn self control, behavior changes, introspection and above all else how to function appropriately in the world. My difficult child was not a manipulative sort of character. He was just lost and couldn't find his way. He needed help to find how to get to the right path and nothing I did was making it better. Your other children deserve knowledge that they will live in a safe and stable home. Let's face it, all families have limitations. I am no where near equipped to be a therapeutic professional 24/7 plus a parent to difficult child and my other children and be a spouse and partner. You couldn't handle him and neither could any of us. Heck, Residential Treatment Facility (RTF) with it's trained professionals couldn't handle my difficult child in the beginning. It's not a failure. It's our sad reality. What you were doing wasn't working. You are trying something else but you have to let it run it's course. He is homesick but he is 14 and not 6. He has understanding that he is there due to his behavior and to learn a better way. He has to learn what he was doing isn't working for the family. Put your mommy pain away and do what is in the best interest of the child. [/QUOTE]
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