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Hope I haven't opened Pandora's box...
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<blockquote data-quote="gcvmom" data-source="post: 375531" data-attributes="member: 3444"><p>Well, I heard back from the son, who is my cousin. He hadn't been in contact with his now-dead grandmother since 1992. And apparently he contacted MY dad in 1999 but my dad didn't want anything to do with him because of his father. Very sad. I gave him the rundown on all the family members and cousins, explained the inheritance situation, and also told him that I'd heard vague things about his dad over the years but really didn't know him, much less whether any of it was true.</p><p> </p><p>So he set me straight on his dad and all the rumors, and sadly, it's all true! He was in Vietnam. He developed a drug addiction while he was there and so did his wife, and they both battled that demon for many years. His parents split up, both got clean, and he moved out of state until '95. His dad has been completely clean/sober since 1988 and has a good job as an electrician and has been working at the same company for many years. He never remarried.</p><p> </p><p>I told him I thought it was a shame that the family turned their backs on him at a time when he needed them the most. And I also said that this family had a lot of mental health problems, and a huge issue with denial of anything unpleasant, which resulted in a lot of dysfunction and pain over the years for a lot of people, my own family included. </p><p> </p><p>He said his dad will be in contact with me soon, and he gave me his own email and phone # and said he'd love to meet one day. So maybe once this is all settled my brother and I can arrange to go see him and his wife.</p><p> </p><p>All I have to give him is the record #, docket # and page # from the probate proceedings with the Will. We can get him a copy of the letters from the lawyers at the time, but he'll have to do the legwork for claiming the funds through the county where it's being held. It's in another state, so hopefully he can accomplish this via phone and mail, but that's all up to him.</p><p> </p><p>I'm glad I took the time to ask about his dad. People can change, and clearly, this uncle has straightened his life out considerably. Doesn't mean he doesn't have issues still, but at least he's back to being a contributing member of society.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="gcvmom, post: 375531, member: 3444"] Well, I heard back from the son, who is my cousin. He hadn't been in contact with his now-dead grandmother since 1992. And apparently he contacted MY dad in 1999 but my dad didn't want anything to do with him because of his father. Very sad. I gave him the rundown on all the family members and cousins, explained the inheritance situation, and also told him that I'd heard vague things about his dad over the years but really didn't know him, much less whether any of it was true. So he set me straight on his dad and all the rumors, and sadly, it's all true! He was in Vietnam. He developed a drug addiction while he was there and so did his wife, and they both battled that demon for many years. His parents split up, both got clean, and he moved out of state until '95. His dad has been completely clean/sober since 1988 and has a good job as an electrician and has been working at the same company for many years. He never remarried. I told him I thought it was a shame that the family turned their backs on him at a time when he needed them the most. And I also said that this family had a lot of mental health problems, and a huge issue with denial of anything unpleasant, which resulted in a lot of dysfunction and pain over the years for a lot of people, my own family included. He said his dad will be in contact with me soon, and he gave me his own email and phone # and said he'd love to meet one day. So maybe once this is all settled my brother and I can arrange to go see him and his wife. All I have to give him is the record #, docket # and page # from the probate proceedings with the Will. We can get him a copy of the letters from the lawyers at the time, but he'll have to do the legwork for claiming the funds through the county where it's being held. It's in another state, so hopefully he can accomplish this via phone and mail, but that's all up to him. I'm glad I took the time to ask about his dad. People can change, and clearly, this uncle has straightened his life out considerably. Doesn't mean he doesn't have issues still, but at least he's back to being a contributing member of society. [/QUOTE]
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