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The Watercooler
Hope I haven't opened Pandora's box...
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 375546" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>I have a personal rule that I judge people on how they treat me and treat others when they are with me. If I hear rumors or judgements about them I evaluate these first on the merits of the person who tells me this stuff. If that person has their own serious issues that would color the rumors/judgements, then I tend to ignore what they say. </p><p> </p><p>Personally I would probably give them a chance. Contact via email and phone at first (I do very little via facebook because it just seems to have too much potential for problems and because I just don't think I am interesting enough for anyone to care what I am doing, lol.) and if that goes well then maybe a visit where whoever travels stays in a nearby hotel. Or you both go somewhere interesting and stay in a hotel.</p><p> </p><p>The son sounds quite nice, and it truly is a shame the family couldn't help while they were addicted. Of course, many of us have had to limit contact with a loved one because they had a sub abuse problem and needed to go hit bottom. It doesn't mean we refuse to contact them unless it is unsafe to keep in contact. At the time, the uncle may have been quite violent and contact may have had to be cut because that. It is important to remember that when judging the rest of the family for how they behaved then. Given the way that family behaves, it may have been better for the uncle to have that contact severed.</p><p> </p><p>Whatever happens, I think contacting them is the right thing to do - esp given the amount of time that has passed. I am sure that in a few years or a decade or so, husband and I may be willing to contact gfgbro and niece to give them a chance. Maybe. But we have firsthand info about him. You have no firsthand info on these relatives.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 375546, member: 1233"] I have a personal rule that I judge people on how they treat me and treat others when they are with me. If I hear rumors or judgements about them I evaluate these first on the merits of the person who tells me this stuff. If that person has their own serious issues that would color the rumors/judgements, then I tend to ignore what they say. Personally I would probably give them a chance. Contact via email and phone at first (I do very little via facebook because it just seems to have too much potential for problems and because I just don't think I am interesting enough for anyone to care what I am doing, lol.) and if that goes well then maybe a visit where whoever travels stays in a nearby hotel. Or you both go somewhere interesting and stay in a hotel. The son sounds quite nice, and it truly is a shame the family couldn't help while they were addicted. Of course, many of us have had to limit contact with a loved one because they had a sub abuse problem and needed to go hit bottom. It doesn't mean we refuse to contact them unless it is unsafe to keep in contact. At the time, the uncle may have been quite violent and contact may have had to be cut because that. It is important to remember that when judging the rest of the family for how they behaved then. Given the way that family behaves, it may have been better for the uncle to have that contact severed. Whatever happens, I think contacting them is the right thing to do - esp given the amount of time that has passed. I am sure that in a few years or a decade or so, husband and I may be willing to contact gfgbro and niece to give them a chance. Maybe. But we have firsthand info about him. You have no firsthand info on these relatives. [/QUOTE]
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