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Hoping to see son
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember1" data-source="post: 752649" data-attributes="member: 23706"><p>For me, I do believe it is empathy draining personality disorders and substance abuse, which can temporarily block empathy. </p><p></p><p>I have no authority to think so. No credentials. But I have met thousands of people due to our business and they talk to us about their kids quite often. I don't see this behavior in 99.9 percent of adult kids. I just don't.</p><p></p><p> This forum to me is the rare exception of very very damaged adults, and I tear up as I write this because it includes Kay.</p><p></p><p>Most kids never call their parents obscene or hideous names. It is not immaturity that causes this because most very young kids do not call their parents names. It's different. It's ugly. It's them. It's in my opinion an inability to care what we feel or think. This is related to empathy, not maturity. </p><p></p><p>If I had ever called anyone the things Kay called me, I would be so full of guilt it would be me who cried and begged forgiveness. These kids leave us crying and at least my Kay seems almost glad about it.</p><p></p><p>It was years before I admitted these feelings to myself. I could not bear seeing the truth about my daughter. I always cut her slack. I no longer can.</p><p></p><p>All the empathy on this board seems to be the parents continuing to love their rude, impossible, often ungrateful kids. We have the empathy. They don't. I hate it, but it is how I see things.</p><p></p><p>It was a lot easier when I believed Kay could love us. But we do feel more peace and have more realistic expectations of Kay now that we believe we know who she is.</p><p></p><p>But, as I always say, it's hard. Very.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember1, post: 752649, member: 23706"] For me, I do believe it is empathy draining personality disorders and substance abuse, which can temporarily block empathy. I have no authority to think so. No credentials. But I have met thousands of people due to our business and they talk to us about their kids quite often. I don't see this behavior in 99.9 percent of adult kids. I just don't. This forum to me is the rare exception of very very damaged adults, and I tear up as I write this because it includes Kay. Most kids never call their parents obscene or hideous names. It is not immaturity that causes this because most very young kids do not call their parents names. It's different. It's ugly. It's them. It's in my opinion an inability to care what we feel or think. This is related to empathy, not maturity. If I had ever called anyone the things Kay called me, I would be so full of guilt it would be me who cried and begged forgiveness. These kids leave us crying and at least my Kay seems almost glad about it. It was years before I admitted these feelings to myself. I could not bear seeing the truth about my daughter. I always cut her slack. I no longer can. All the empathy on this board seems to be the parents continuing to love their rude, impossible, often ungrateful kids. We have the empathy. They don't. I hate it, but it is how I see things. It was a lot easier when I believed Kay could love us. But we do feel more peace and have more realistic expectations of Kay now that we believe we know who she is. But, as I always say, it's hard. Very. [/QUOTE]
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