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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 752651" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>There are a spectrum of kids here, with all sorts of issues. Adoption. Racial differences from parents. Racism. Poverty. Illness. Brain injury. Drugs. Immaturity. Leaving one culture for another, new one. Immorality. Personality Disorders. Acute mental illness. My own child is affected with at least 8 of these.</p><p></p><p>Several things concern me. One. If we roll all of this into one and call it a "personality disorder." A personality order while not necessarily a forever thing, usually is.</p><p></p><p>Two. Each of our children is a unique being, as we are unique. It would worry me if we considered all of them the same. That is, I worry that each of us generalizes to other adult children based upon our own unique situation. My child is not your child. Your child is not my child. I am not you. You are not me.</p><p></p><p>There have been people on this forum that believe everything is a personality disorder of one sort or another. And freely without evidence other than their own beliefs, diagnose adult children "attachment disordered, for example." They have made what are moral decisions, and called children they do not know of parents they do not know, unworthy to be saved. Irredeemably damaged and broken, etc. They believe by these judgments that they are protecting the parents who come here, by telling them the hard, cold truth. As if they have a direct phone to G-d. And that only they know.</p><p></p><p>I think I am one of the people currently on this forum with the most direct, varied experience with diagnosis and treatment. I will say outright that I don't know enough about any child on this forum, including my own, to make any real assessment of their potential or what ails them.</p><p></p><p>I think we can only legitimately know about that which we have directly seen and experienced. We experience each other. That is direct. I feel that people here know me. While they can get a sense or impression about my child. It is only that. The lion's share of that impression, I fear, may be our own prejudice that comes from our own suffering and fear.</p><p></p><p>This is something I feel very strongly about. I understand how bitter and frustrated and angry we can become. Because of the fate of our children, and our own fate. It can feel like we were "had" or victimized and that is a bitter pill to swallow about life. But to take the step to project that onto others, I feel is unfair. Parents have the right, and deserve that right to come to their own beliefs without due influence from us. They deserve to have hope as long as they wish. That is what is my own opinion. Which I will post as long as I choose to stay on this board.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 752651, member: 18958"] There are a spectrum of kids here, with all sorts of issues. Adoption. Racial differences from parents. Racism. Poverty. Illness. Brain injury. Drugs. Immaturity. Leaving one culture for another, new one. Immorality. Personality Disorders. Acute mental illness. My own child is affected with at least 8 of these. Several things concern me. One. If we roll all of this into one and call it a "personality disorder." A personality order while not necessarily a forever thing, usually is. Two. Each of our children is a unique being, as we are unique. It would worry me if we considered all of them the same. That is, I worry that each of us generalizes to other adult children based upon our own unique situation. My child is not your child. Your child is not my child. I am not you. You are not me. There have been people on this forum that believe everything is a personality disorder of one sort or another. And freely without evidence other than their own beliefs, diagnose adult children "attachment disordered, for example." They have made what are moral decisions, and called children they do not know of parents they do not know, unworthy to be saved. Irredeemably damaged and broken, etc. They believe by these judgments that they are protecting the parents who come here, by telling them the hard, cold truth. As if they have a direct phone to G-d. And that only they know. I think I am one of the people currently on this forum with the most direct, varied experience with diagnosis and treatment. I will say outright that I don't know enough about any child on this forum, including my own, to make any real assessment of their potential or what ails them. I think we can only legitimately know about that which we have directly seen and experienced. We experience each other. That is direct. I feel that people here know me. While they can get a sense or impression about my child. It is only that. The lion's share of that impression, I fear, may be our own prejudice that comes from our own suffering and fear. This is something I feel very strongly about. I understand how bitter and frustrated and angry we can become. Because of the fate of our children, and our own fate. It can feel like we were "had" or victimized and that is a bitter pill to swallow about life. But to take the step to project that onto others, I feel is unfair. Parents have the right, and deserve that right to come to their own beliefs without due influence from us. They deserve to have hope as long as they wish. That is what is my own opinion. Which I will post as long as I choose to stay on this board. [/QUOTE]
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