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Hoping to see son
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<blockquote data-quote="Lil" data-source="post: 752840" data-attributes="member: 17309"><p>Beta, I'm so sorry you are having such a hard time. I would take comfort in the fact that, regardless of the reason, he contacted you, apologized...that's something. I believe you WILL see your son again.</p><p></p><p>I found it interesting, the talk of them suddenly reaching out to shout abuse vs. just … not.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>I agree completely. My own son never called me names or even once blamed us for his issues...but that doesn't mean he can't be abusive. He's screamed at me so many times about how awful and horrible his life is and how he's effed-up and this person or that person is to blame etc., etc.</p><p></p><p>Even now, with things better, it still can happen. A few weeks back he and his wife had decided to come for a weekend visit. They were flying. It's 7 a.m. and we're about to go to pick them up and get a frantic call. They'd missed their plane. There wasn't another one until almost midnight and they didn't have the money for it anyway. His friends had taken off work to spend time with him. Everyone was going to hate him. It was all the fault of the people who gave them a ride to the airport - insisting they'd have plenty of time and then dropping them off at the DENVER airport with only 1/2 hour before boarding. (Actually, I kind of agreed with him there.) Oh - and he'd been lying to me, they had no money saved, used his wife's entire two week paycheck to buy the tickets, have no money to live off of for two weeks...etc. He's ranting and screaming as usual. I keep trying to say something, but I'm so flabbergasted I keep starting to speak and instead giving these little half-sighs, because I don't want to just make him angrier by telling him off for being so stupid with money. Those little sighs make him mad at me, of course.</p><p></p><p>After we hang up I text his wife, who is calm and accepting of the situation. She says he just needed to vent. I said "<em>Why is it always at me!?!</em>" She said she didn't know but I said I think it's because he knows I'll take it and still love him afterwards. Her reply was "<em>If you don't, I will</em>." I told her I had already told my son he will NEVER do better than her and her reply was "<em>Don't I know it!</em>" (I adore this girl I barely know. lol)</p><p></p><p>But the point is, whether there's any reason we can see for it, they do it - the attacking and screaming and just being nasty - because it makes them feel better somehow. They do it because we'll take it. It's up to us to stop taking it.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Lil, post: 752840, member: 17309"] Beta, I'm so sorry you are having such a hard time. I would take comfort in the fact that, regardless of the reason, he contacted you, apologized...that's something. I believe you WILL see your son again. I found it interesting, the talk of them suddenly reaching out to shout abuse vs. just … not. I agree completely. My own son never called me names or even once blamed us for his issues...but that doesn't mean he can't be abusive. He's screamed at me so many times about how awful and horrible his life is and how he's effed-up and this person or that person is to blame etc., etc. Even now, with things better, it still can happen. A few weeks back he and his wife had decided to come for a weekend visit. They were flying. It's 7 a.m. and we're about to go to pick them up and get a frantic call. They'd missed their plane. There wasn't another one until almost midnight and they didn't have the money for it anyway. His friends had taken off work to spend time with him. Everyone was going to hate him. It was all the fault of the people who gave them a ride to the airport - insisting they'd have plenty of time and then dropping them off at the DENVER airport with only 1/2 hour before boarding. (Actually, I kind of agreed with him there.) Oh - and he'd been lying to me, they had no money saved, used his wife's entire two week paycheck to buy the tickets, have no money to live off of for two weeks...etc. He's ranting and screaming as usual. I keep trying to say something, but I'm so flabbergasted I keep starting to speak and instead giving these little half-sighs, because I don't want to just make him angrier by telling him off for being so stupid with money. Those little sighs make him mad at me, of course. After we hang up I text his wife, who is calm and accepting of the situation. She says he just needed to vent. I said "[I]Why is it always at me!?![/I]" She said she didn't know but I said I think it's because he knows I'll take it and still love him afterwards. Her reply was "[I]If you don't, I will[/I]." I told her I had already told my son he will NEVER do better than her and her reply was "[I]Don't I know it![/I]" (I adore this girl I barely know. lol) But the point is, whether there's any reason we can see for it, they do it - the attacking and screaming and just being nasty - because it makes them feel better somehow. They do it because we'll take it. It's up to us to stop taking it. [/QUOTE]
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