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Hoping to see son
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember1" data-source="post: 752851" data-attributes="member: 23706"><p>Thanks Copa. I appreciate your intelligent thoughts always.</p><p></p><p>I myself don't have hope anymore, but I have grieved and still grieve. I just don't see where there is hope in my situation. I don't want to hurt myself by having false hope. If it ever happens, and Kay loves me (which i don't believe is true) then, if I am still alive, when she shows it, this will obviously thrill me. But I don't expect it. "It would be nice."</p><p></p><p>If Kay decides she loves me after I am gone, it is too late. I really don't think this will happen, especially not in my lifetime.</p><p></p><p>I respect those that still hope. I pray they get what they hope for and are not destroyed in their hearts and souls. Hope has two possible outcomes.</p><p></p><p>I did not put our kids in categories. I said that right now, in this moment, most lack empathy. It's true. They could not treat us the way they do if they had empathy. They would feel the guilt of empathy, understanding how we feel and not wanting to hurt us.</p><p></p><p> Many of our kids are not empathetic due to drug use. That can change with sobriety. Or not. These are complicated young adults, treating us far worse than most parents ever experience. Few parents ever hear the words of Kay. I am glad most parents never hear words that she has said to me.</p><p></p><p>No parent ever should hear hate from a child. It is cruel and wounds us. We may be able to learn to overcome it, but we don't forget it for the most part.</p><p></p><p>My hope is hope for myself and has nothing to do with Kay. I have hope that my husband and I and the other kids and grands have great lives in spite of Kay's life. I have hope that we will continue to love one another. We can do this and Kay can choose to get help and join us. Or not.</p><p></p><p>Kay is "it would be nice if" to me. It in my opinion is not healthy for ME to hope for something that is far away or may never happen. So I focus on today.</p><p></p><p>I don't feel any of this thinking style is being hopeless. I am actually much better.</p><p></p><p>Let's face it. We all deal with our tragedy in our own way.</p><p></p><p>Yesterday is history,</p><p>Tomorrow is a mystery.</p><p>All we have is today.</p><p></p><p>I love this.</p><p></p><p>God bless every soldier on this battlefield. We are all in this together. Let's hold hands and pray.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember1, post: 752851, member: 23706"] Thanks Copa. I appreciate your intelligent thoughts always. I myself don't have hope anymore, but I have grieved and still grieve. I just don't see where there is hope in my situation. I don't want to hurt myself by having false hope. If it ever happens, and Kay loves me (which i don't believe is true) then, if I am still alive, when she shows it, this will obviously thrill me. But I don't expect it. "It would be nice." If Kay decides she loves me after I am gone, it is too late. I really don't think this will happen, especially not in my lifetime. I respect those that still hope. I pray they get what they hope for and are not destroyed in their hearts and souls. Hope has two possible outcomes. I did not put our kids in categories. I said that right now, in this moment, most lack empathy. It's true. They could not treat us the way they do if they had empathy. They would feel the guilt of empathy, understanding how we feel and not wanting to hurt us. Many of our kids are not empathetic due to drug use. That can change with sobriety. Or not. These are complicated young adults, treating us far worse than most parents ever experience. Few parents ever hear the words of Kay. I am glad most parents never hear words that she has said to me. No parent ever should hear hate from a child. It is cruel and wounds us. We may be able to learn to overcome it, but we don't forget it for the most part. My hope is hope for myself and has nothing to do with Kay. I have hope that my husband and I and the other kids and grands have great lives in spite of Kay's life. I have hope that we will continue to love one another. We can do this and Kay can choose to get help and join us. Or not. Kay is "it would be nice if" to me. It in my opinion is not healthy for ME to hope for something that is far away or may never happen. So I focus on today. I don't feel any of this thinking style is being hopeless. I am actually much better. Let's face it. We all deal with our tragedy in our own way. Yesterday is history, Tomorrow is a mystery. All we have is today. I love this. God bless every soldier on this battlefield. We are all in this together. Let's hold hands and pray. [/QUOTE]
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