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Horrible day
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<blockquote data-quote="DaisyFace" data-source="post: 264050" data-attributes="member: 6546"><p>KJS--</p><p> </p><p>What struck me about your post was your opening line:</p><p> </p><p>"<em>Wait, difficult child. It would be nice if you could stay home for a bit</em>.".</p><p> </p><p>I may be way off-base here, but it sounds as though you have put so much of yourself and your sense of self-worth into your role as a mother, that you need the children and their attention and approval in order to feel good about yourself. That's why difficult child is able to hurt you as badly as he does--his approval has become too important to you. </p><p> </p><p>And as far as texting to friends---I'm sure that we ALL complain to our friends about somebody who is frustrating us....and the answer we are looking for is not "<em>Yea, but they're right and you're wrong</em>"--we look for our friends to <em>agree</em> with our point of view. So forget about the text messages....those are his friends and they are going to stand by him because that's what friends do.</p><p> </p><p>As to the homework--are you really pushing the homework because it is important to him? or because it is important to you? And if it is not important to him now--how will your reminders and staying on top of it <em>make</em> it important to him?</p><p> </p><p>I think you have gotten yourself into a bad habit with difficult child...and it has given him way too much power over your emotions, your state of mind, and your sense of well-being. </p><p> </p><p>While you are re-cuperating from pheumonia (poor thing!!)...take some time to be SELFISH! For your own good!! Then we you are feeling better, get your focus off of being a good Mom and re-direct your attention toward something broader....such as being a good citizen...or being more active in your church....or something like that. It will do wonders for your self-esteem.</p><p> </p><p>Feel better!</p><p> </p><p>--DaisyF</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="DaisyFace, post: 264050, member: 6546"] KJS-- What struck me about your post was your opening line: "[I]Wait, difficult child. It would be nice if you could stay home for a bit[/I].". I may be way off-base here, but it sounds as though you have put so much of yourself and your sense of self-worth into your role as a mother, that you need the children and their attention and approval in order to feel good about yourself. That's why difficult child is able to hurt you as badly as he does--his approval has become too important to you. And as far as texting to friends---I'm sure that we ALL complain to our friends about somebody who is frustrating us....and the answer we are looking for is not "[I]Yea, but they're right and you're wrong[/I]"--we look for our friends to [I]agree[/I] with our point of view. So forget about the text messages....those are his friends and they are going to stand by him because that's what friends do. As to the homework--are you really pushing the homework because it is important to him? or because it is important to you? And if it is not important to him now--how will your reminders and staying on top of it [I]make[/I] it important to him? I think you have gotten yourself into a bad habit with difficult child...and it has given him way too much power over your emotions, your state of mind, and your sense of well-being. While you are re-cuperating from pheumonia (poor thing!!)...take some time to be SELFISH! For your own good!! Then we you are feeling better, get your focus off of being a good Mom and re-direct your attention toward something broader....such as being a good citizen...or being more active in your church....or something like that. It will do wonders for your self-esteem. Feel better! --DaisyF [/QUOTE]
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