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Horrible Saturday
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<blockquote data-quote="Bunny" data-source="post: 575150" data-attributes="member: 15810"><p>This may sound very simplistic, but my difficult child can be very stubborn and this helped us. difficult child was great when he felt that he had some control over things, so I try to give him choices. Keep in mind, that I make sure they are choices that I can live with. It started when he was little and would melt when I tried to dress him because he didn't want to wear what I picked out for him. So I would let him pick his clothes, but I told him that he has to match. If he picked a shirt, he has to wear the pants that went with it. That seemed to help him alot.</p><p></p><p>As he got older, I would give him choices with other things. Maybe choices is not the right word. Maybe control is really the right word. If I needed him to do something, like clean his stuff off the dining room table, I would tell him on Wednesday that I need it done by Saturday, and I give gentle reminders over the next few days. If I remind him that he needs to shower and finish his homework, he'll say, "Can I shower in the morning?" My sister in law thinks I'm nuts to give him choices about these things, but as long as he does it, does it really matter if he does it tonight or tomorrow morning?</p><p></p><p>This morning he as a dentist appointment. He HATES going to the dentist, so I've been telling him for the last few days that this is what he is doing at 10:00 this morning. And husband is off from work today, so I told him that HE gets to take the kids to the appointment.</p><p></p><p>Like I said, it sounds very simple, but it might help. With my difficult child, for him it gave him a sense of contol that he seems to need.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Bunny, post: 575150, member: 15810"] This may sound very simplistic, but my difficult child can be very stubborn and this helped us. difficult child was great when he felt that he had some control over things, so I try to give him choices. Keep in mind, that I make sure they are choices that I can live with. It started when he was little and would melt when I tried to dress him because he didn't want to wear what I picked out for him. So I would let him pick his clothes, but I told him that he has to match. If he picked a shirt, he has to wear the pants that went with it. That seemed to help him alot. As he got older, I would give him choices with other things. Maybe choices is not the right word. Maybe control is really the right word. If I needed him to do something, like clean his stuff off the dining room table, I would tell him on Wednesday that I need it done by Saturday, and I give gentle reminders over the next few days. If I remind him that he needs to shower and finish his homework, he'll say, "Can I shower in the morning?" My sister in law thinks I'm nuts to give him choices about these things, but as long as he does it, does it really matter if he does it tonight or tomorrow morning? This morning he as a dentist appointment. He HATES going to the dentist, so I've been telling him for the last few days that this is what he is doing at 10:00 this morning. And husband is off from work today, so I told him that HE gets to take the kids to the appointment. Like I said, it sounds very simple, but it might help. With my difficult child, for him it gave him a sense of contol that he seems to need. [/QUOTE]
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