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<blockquote data-quote="Liahona" data-source="post: 553037"><p>Update: I wrote a note to his teacher and called the principal and left a message. Then I called again and got him on the phone. He was frustrated with me. Kept saying things like 'as you remember in our previous conversation' while telling me there was nothing he could do. He did read the note I sent to the teacher. It was much more detailed then what I had told him (because he wouldn't listen to me and was getting defensive.) Then he talked to the playground aides who said difficult child 3 never came up to them and they didn't take away any matches from anyone. He talked to the teacher who hasn't heard anything about this. He talked to difficult child 3; who showed his autism. He got confused, his story kept changing, and he had a hard time talking. The principal wanted him to pick out the 2nd graders who did it. difficult child 3 did pick out 2 kids, but they weren't the right kids. He remembered the name of one of the kids. There is only one kid in 2nd grade with that name and that boy says he was playing soccer every day this week. The 2nd grade teachers don't know anything about it. The principal told me that when one kid brings matches that news of it spreads very fast around the kids, but no one had heard anything about a kid with matches. The principal doesn't think the bullying actually happened but that difficult child 3 is having some kind of emotional issue with school so he is telling me stories. The Speech Language Pathologist (SLP) is going to work with difficult child 3 with social stories that tell him how to get out emotions and the school therapist is going to talk with him. The principal does believe that difficult child 3 has autism now. </p><p></p><p>I'm worried. It sounds like the principal did a though job investigating and his explanation makes sense. BUT its not like difficult child 3. difficult child 3 will do small exaggerations. Nothing like he has been telling me though. When he does exaggerate he doesn't use that much detail and it is fairly easy to see through. When he does exaggerate it is normally based in truth. And he doesn't act like he has an emotional issue with school. He is happy to go to school. I keep asking him if he feels safe there and he keeps telling me yes. When he does tell me about the bullying he isn't scared or emotional it is very matter of fact. I think it helps that difficult child 3 hit them a few times and difficult child 3 has dealt with someone much worse than any 2nd grader, difficult child 1. </p><p></p><p>The autism specialist came today. We talk about this and she tried to get difficult child 3 to talk to her, but he hid. He then told us that he just made it all up. Then he told us that he was just repeating what he read somewhere in a story. I told him I don't think so. After she left difficult child 3 was telling me about his recess. He told me "this is for reals". This also worries me. Someone instead of just asking him what happened tried to convince him that it didn't happen. Or suggested that it didn't happen. </p><p></p><p>Janet, I'm sure you did the best you could with the information you had at the time. Hind-sight is always 20/20. Sometimes I wonder what I'm doing wrong now that I'm going to regret. </p><p></p><p>I'm thinking of homeschooling difficult child 3 and difficult child 2. husband doesn't think the bullies will bother difficult child 3 much now that he stood up to them. He also doesn't think talking to the school therapist will hurt him since difficult child 3 has had a lot going on (when does he not have a lot going on?) I think I'm going to talk to the school therapist first and try to make sure he isn't an idiot. </p><p></p><p>Thanks for reading all this.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Liahona, post: 553037"] Update: I wrote a note to his teacher and called the principal and left a message. Then I called again and got him on the phone. He was frustrated with me. Kept saying things like 'as you remember in our previous conversation' while telling me there was nothing he could do. He did read the note I sent to the teacher. It was much more detailed then what I had told him (because he wouldn't listen to me and was getting defensive.) Then he talked to the playground aides who said difficult child 3 never came up to them and they didn't take away any matches from anyone. He talked to the teacher who hasn't heard anything about this. He talked to difficult child 3; who showed his autism. He got confused, his story kept changing, and he had a hard time talking. The principal wanted him to pick out the 2nd graders who did it. difficult child 3 did pick out 2 kids, but they weren't the right kids. He remembered the name of one of the kids. There is only one kid in 2nd grade with that name and that boy says he was playing soccer every day this week. The 2nd grade teachers don't know anything about it. The principal told me that when one kid brings matches that news of it spreads very fast around the kids, but no one had heard anything about a kid with matches. The principal doesn't think the bullying actually happened but that difficult child 3 is having some kind of emotional issue with school so he is telling me stories. The Speech Language Pathologist (SLP) is going to work with difficult child 3 with social stories that tell him how to get out emotions and the school therapist is going to talk with him. The principal does believe that difficult child 3 has autism now. I'm worried. It sounds like the principal did a though job investigating and his explanation makes sense. BUT its not like difficult child 3. difficult child 3 will do small exaggerations. Nothing like he has been telling me though. When he does exaggerate he doesn't use that much detail and it is fairly easy to see through. When he does exaggerate it is normally based in truth. And he doesn't act like he has an emotional issue with school. He is happy to go to school. I keep asking him if he feels safe there and he keeps telling me yes. When he does tell me about the bullying he isn't scared or emotional it is very matter of fact. I think it helps that difficult child 3 hit them a few times and difficult child 3 has dealt with someone much worse than any 2nd grader, difficult child 1. The autism specialist came today. We talk about this and she tried to get difficult child 3 to talk to her, but he hid. He then told us that he just made it all up. Then he told us that he was just repeating what he read somewhere in a story. I told him I don't think so. After she left difficult child 3 was telling me about his recess. He told me "this is for reals". This also worries me. Someone instead of just asking him what happened tried to convince him that it didn't happen. Or suggested that it didn't happen. Janet, I'm sure you did the best you could with the information you had at the time. Hind-sight is always 20/20. Sometimes I wonder what I'm doing wrong now that I'm going to regret. I'm thinking of homeschooling difficult child 3 and difficult child 2. husband doesn't think the bullies will bother difficult child 3 much now that he stood up to them. He also doesn't think talking to the school therapist will hurt him since difficult child 3 has had a lot going on (when does he not have a lot going on?) I think I'm going to talk to the school therapist first and try to make sure he isn't an idiot. Thanks for reading all this. [/QUOTE]
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