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"How can I screw my life up today?"
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<blockquote data-quote="Childofmine" data-source="post: 659942" data-attributes="member: 17542"><p>Jabber my son was banned from the library too after he lost yet another government phone and was using the library for wifi and a place to get cool in the summer. </p><p></p><p>I saw his descent like this: he would go down another rung on the ladder. Then he would abuse and ignore the rules and break that rung on the ladder, and have to descend another rung. It was very painful to watch and to endure. He did not want to go by any rules at all anytime anywhere. </p><p></p><p>Now, looking back, I see that ladder differently. As he went "down" he was actually moving "up", up to his bottom which occurred in jail last June when the public defender told him to plan for the full sentence of four years to be handed down the next day. To hear him tell it, which he has just one time, he laid awake all night in fear. That was a dark night of the soul for him and since that time, he has not been arrested once and he has started to rebuild his life. It is not all perfect and like I would like, even now, but standing back, it is true progress. </p><p></p><p>We can't conceive of what it is going to take because our reality and theirs is completely different. </p><p></p><p>My son is now 26. From seventh grade, when the rumblings of trouble began, it has been a slow trajectory down until about 19 when things went off the cliff and continued downward until a year ago. </p><p></p><p>Over that time I learned so much. I did everything you two have done and more. Until i saw---because he showed me---that for all of that, it was only worse. </p><p></p><p>I am sorry. Truly sorry that any other person has to experience this. I know you both know what to do and you have made remarkable progress. Stop and congratulate yourself for that because it is the hardest work there is. Progress now, not perfection. We so understand. And we are here with you both.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Childofmine, post: 659942, member: 17542"] Jabber my son was banned from the library too after he lost yet another government phone and was using the library for wifi and a place to get cool in the summer. I saw his descent like this: he would go down another rung on the ladder. Then he would abuse and ignore the rules and break that rung on the ladder, and have to descend another rung. It was very painful to watch and to endure. He did not want to go by any rules at all anytime anywhere. Now, looking back, I see that ladder differently. As he went "down" he was actually moving "up", up to his bottom which occurred in jail last June when the public defender told him to plan for the full sentence of four years to be handed down the next day. To hear him tell it, which he has just one time, he laid awake all night in fear. That was a dark night of the soul for him and since that time, he has not been arrested once and he has started to rebuild his life. It is not all perfect and like I would like, even now, but standing back, it is true progress. We can't conceive of what it is going to take because our reality and theirs is completely different. My son is now 26. From seventh grade, when the rumblings of trouble began, it has been a slow trajectory down until about 19 when things went off the cliff and continued downward until a year ago. Over that time I learned so much. I did everything you two have done and more. Until i saw---because he showed me---that for all of that, it was only worse. I am sorry. Truly sorry that any other person has to experience this. I know you both know what to do and you have made remarkable progress. Stop and congratulate yourself for that because it is the hardest work there is. Progress now, not perfection. We so understand. And we are here with you both. [/QUOTE]
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