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Parent Emeritus
"How can I screw my life up today?"
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<blockquote data-quote="mtic" data-source="post: 659983" data-attributes="member: 18623"><p>Lil and Jabber, I'm going through something similar too. My Difficult Child is planning on moving to South Carolina. A friend of his is looking at getting a job down there and Difficult Child is probably going to tag along. I have no idea how one moves without money, but I guess he'll figure it out. He doesn't seem to stress about things too much, so I've given up stressing over HIS life. He knows we are always here for him IF he gets his act together, although he has stolen from us numerous times so I'm not sure how to rebuild any trust. I know he will never live here again. The days of hiding our money and watching him like a hawk took a toll on us. We wanted to believe he had changed, but as you know, they are good at tugging on our heartstrings.</p><p></p><p>My husband and I have had numerous discussions about how to know if he has changed and how to help. My husband always points out that Difficult Child is the one who needs to come up with a plan as we have wracked our brains many times in the past, and with each new plan we would come up with my Difficult Child seemed to push back harder and sink deeper. I'm not sure how one can be given so many opportunities and blow it. We were even to the point where we were letting him live here rent free, no expenses at all, and all we asked is that he stay clean and sober and work. He found a job for a month and blew it (he got fired). I know you have given your son many great opportunities too. I'm not exactly sure what they are looking for, but I do know that nothing we do or say is going to change them. They really do need to hit rock bottom (although we thought our son had hit rock bottom many times!).</p><p></p><p>Just wanted to let you know that I'm thinking of you during this difficult time.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="mtic, post: 659983, member: 18623"] Lil and Jabber, I'm going through something similar too. My Difficult Child is planning on moving to South Carolina. A friend of his is looking at getting a job down there and Difficult Child is probably going to tag along. I have no idea how one moves without money, but I guess he'll figure it out. He doesn't seem to stress about things too much, so I've given up stressing over HIS life. He knows we are always here for him IF he gets his act together, although he has stolen from us numerous times so I'm not sure how to rebuild any trust. I know he will never live here again. The days of hiding our money and watching him like a hawk took a toll on us. We wanted to believe he had changed, but as you know, they are good at tugging on our heartstrings. My husband and I have had numerous discussions about how to know if he has changed and how to help. My husband always points out that Difficult Child is the one who needs to come up with a plan as we have wracked our brains many times in the past, and with each new plan we would come up with my Difficult Child seemed to push back harder and sink deeper. I'm not sure how one can be given so many opportunities and blow it. We were even to the point where we were letting him live here rent free, no expenses at all, and all we asked is that he stay clean and sober and work. He found a job for a month and blew it (he got fired). I know you have given your son many great opportunities too. I'm not exactly sure what they are looking for, but I do know that nothing we do or say is going to change them. They really do need to hit rock bottom (although we thought our son had hit rock bottom many times!). Just wanted to let you know that I'm thinking of you during this difficult time. [/QUOTE]
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