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Parent Emeritus
"How can I screw my life up today?"
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 659992" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Your husband is wrong. Coming up with a plan is just a blueprint and can be all bluff. What you need to see is at least six months to a year (I opt for a year) of working the plan. No substance abuse, a full time job, self-sufficiency and other things that people do to live an honest, clean life. A plan is nothing. Actively living in the real world for an extended period of time is how you will know if he has changed. Promises can be broken. Excited ideas can die a moment after they are stated or be manipulations to get something out of you.</p><p>Some will get better and make it. Some will be the same in their 30's and 40's. It is impossible to predict the future.</p><p>But until you see changes, there are no changes.</p><p>Right now he just isn't willing to do what he has to do to live a socially acceptable life.</p><p>If he does, you will definitely know. When my daughter decided to do so, it was very obvious that things had changed, including that she had dumped drug using friends, gotten a job, stopped asking for money, and had endured lots of loneliness just to stay sober and get to work each day. It has now been eleven years since the bad times.When she went straight, she never even told us. She just did it. And did it well. We are very proud of her.</p><p>She did not go to rehab. She just decided to do it and she did it. Nothing can stop somebody from changing once they want to change. They don't need us to hold their hands.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 659992, member: 1550"] Your husband is wrong. Coming up with a plan is just a blueprint and can be all bluff. What you need to see is at least six months to a year (I opt for a year) of working the plan. No substance abuse, a full time job, self-sufficiency and other things that people do to live an honest, clean life. A plan is nothing. Actively living in the real world for an extended period of time is how you will know if he has changed. Promises can be broken. Excited ideas can die a moment after they are stated or be manipulations to get something out of you. Some will get better and make it. Some will be the same in their 30's and 40's. It is impossible to predict the future. But until you see changes, there are no changes. Right now he just isn't willing to do what he has to do to live a socially acceptable life. If he does, you will definitely know. When my daughter decided to do so, it was very obvious that things had changed, including that she had dumped drug using friends, gotten a job, stopped asking for money, and had endured lots of loneliness just to stay sober and get to work each day. It has now been eleven years since the bad times.When she went straight, she never even told us. She just did it. And did it well. We are very proud of her. She did not go to rehab. She just decided to do it and she did it. Nothing can stop somebody from changing once they want to change. They don't need us to hold their hands. [/QUOTE]
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"How can I screw my life up today?"
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