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General Parenting
How do I cope???
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<blockquote data-quote="Nomad" data-source="post: 307869"><p>I'm so very sorry.</p><p></p><p>If your SO has asked to move into another room, you are right, this is not a good sign...but perhaps a sign that he is asking for more space and/or for you to take notice that major chances need to be happening.</p><p></p><p>You mentioned your 5 yo adopted son having power...but he can only have such power if you give him it.</p><p></p><p>True, surely he might be a major challenge and present frustrations...but it is up to you to learn coping strategies and actually problem solving techniques in order to move forward in your life...AND I'm thinking perhaps you want to move forward in your life with your SO</p><p></p><p>So, you might continue with- counseling or seek the advice of a different counselor. Please make sure the latest change is discussed and ask for specific advice.</p><p></p><p>You might also get some counseling on your own.</p><p></p><p>Consider getting a babysitter and going on a date night once a week...do not discuss your child during this time...this is just for starters.</p><p></p><p>Pay close attention to what your SO personally and intimately is asking of you and consider doing your best to provide for his needs....hopefully he will do the same for you in return. If you try your best to do things for him and he doesn't help you in return, then and only then would I consider moving out.</p><p></p><p>I wouldn't worry too much about difficult child's feelings, until the time actually comes that a decision is made...then cross that bridge at that time. Hopefully, you can restore your relationship with- your SO and it wont ever be an issue anyway.</p><p></p><p>For now, if you think the relationship is worth working on...concentrate on that.</p><p></p><p>Keep in mind...if you don't make a REAL effort to correct this problem NOW...it will very likely repeat itself over and over again.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Nomad, post: 307869"] I'm so very sorry. If your SO has asked to move into another room, you are right, this is not a good sign...but perhaps a sign that he is asking for more space and/or for you to take notice that major chances need to be happening. You mentioned your 5 yo adopted son having power...but he can only have such power if you give him it. True, surely he might be a major challenge and present frustrations...but it is up to you to learn coping strategies and actually problem solving techniques in order to move forward in your life...AND I'm thinking perhaps you want to move forward in your life with your SO So, you might continue with- counseling or seek the advice of a different counselor. Please make sure the latest change is discussed and ask for specific advice. You might also get some counseling on your own. Consider getting a babysitter and going on a date night once a week...do not discuss your child during this time...this is just for starters. Pay close attention to what your SO personally and intimately is asking of you and consider doing your best to provide for his needs....hopefully he will do the same for you in return. If you try your best to do things for him and he doesn't help you in return, then and only then would I consider moving out. I wouldn't worry too much about difficult child's feelings, until the time actually comes that a decision is made...then cross that bridge at that time. Hopefully, you can restore your relationship with- your SO and it wont ever be an issue anyway. For now, if you think the relationship is worth working on...concentrate on that. Keep in mind...if you don't make a REAL effort to correct this problem NOW...it will very likely repeat itself over and over again. [/QUOTE]
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