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How do I deal with an ungreatful, moody adult daughter?
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<blockquote data-quote="witzend" data-source="post: 630701" data-attributes="member: 99"><p>What caught me in your title is "adult". I get that she's pregnant and that there may be mood swings. on the other hand, since being ungrateful is a continuous thing I would stop doing for her. You say that she makes you feel unwanted. Wait until she wants you. She is no longer a child, so treat her like an adult. I would tell her so in kind words. "It's so strange to think of you as a mother, it seems like only yesterday you were my baby but you're all grown up. I've never been a parent to an adult before, so I'm going to have to get used to my new role in your life. I'll do my best and hope that you will understand if sometimes I am not the best at letting us both be adults."</p><p></p><p>Give her <em>nothing</em> and none of your time unless and until she asks for it. When and if she does explain to her that you know that her home (or her child or her husband) is her own and you don't want to but in or make her feel uncomfortable by putting your stamp on anything. Would advice rather than action do? She doesn't <em>have to </em>take your advice, and you know that she will make a decision after she has taken all possibilities into consideration. If she <em>demands</em> your presence and your physical labor, I'd have to tell her "no". If she demands a reason, you should be able to tell her that she seemed unappreciative the last time and you don't want to set anything up for failure. Remind her that she is an adult and that you are happy to help if she can treat you as an adult rather than mom who always does anything I tell her to do.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="witzend, post: 630701, member: 99"] What caught me in your title is "adult". I get that she's pregnant and that there may be mood swings. on the other hand, since being ungrateful is a continuous thing I would stop doing for her. You say that she makes you feel unwanted. Wait until she wants you. She is no longer a child, so treat her like an adult. I would tell her so in kind words. "It's so strange to think of you as a mother, it seems like only yesterday you were my baby but you're all grown up. I've never been a parent to an adult before, so I'm going to have to get used to my new role in your life. I'll do my best and hope that you will understand if sometimes I am not the best at letting us both be adults." Give her [I]nothing[/I] and none of your time unless and until she asks for it. When and if she does explain to her that you know that her home (or her child or her husband) is her own and you don't want to but in or make her feel uncomfortable by putting your stamp on anything. Would advice rather than action do? She doesn't [I]have to [/I]take your advice, and you know that she will make a decision after she has taken all possibilities into consideration. If she [I]demands[/I] your presence and your physical labor, I'd have to tell her "no". If she demands a reason, you should be able to tell her that she seemed unappreciative the last time and you don't want to set anything up for failure. Remind her that she is an adult and that you are happy to help if she can treat you as an adult rather than mom who always does anything I tell her to do. [/QUOTE]
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How do I deal with an ungreatful, moody adult daughter?
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