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How do I get easy child daughter to move back in with me?
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<blockquote data-quote="recovering doormat" data-source="post: 273027" data-attributes="member: 5941"><p>Thanks for your suggestions. Dad is not a reasonable person and has a vested interest in making me out to be the inferior parent. He originally sued for sole custody and failed, but it took a year of hearings and a court appointed ad litem guardian to tell him no way. What has happened over time is that I have become tougher and he has become more laissez-faire. I think this is mostly due to his age, 57, and exhaustion from overwork. He isn't able or willing to give the supervision she needs now.</p><p> </p><p>I had thought that the pot smoking in the house stopped when my son was away in rehad (that's when I allowed easy child to stay over more frequently) but I've come to find out just this week that my older daughter has been smoking and drinking routinely, not necessarily in the house, but she's still doing it and that's a dealbreaker for her to move back in with me (the older daughter,I mean).</p><p> </p><p>This is a nightmare. I may have opened the door to him dragging out more legal wranglings (we separated in 2004, div. in 2007, still trying to settle division of property -everything is in his name, my sole income is alimoney and child support). If I could be certain that he would provide adequate supervision for her when she is not in school, I wouldn't challenge him. We have always had frequent and flexibles visitation, I have a key to his house and drive the kids to and from his residence several times a day.</p><p> </p><p>I do feel somewhat better that I brought it up to easy child yesterday, so it's no longer weighing heavily on my heart. She wants no part of more supervision from me, natch, so it was pointless to discuss it further. My shrink says to move her clothes and toiletries back to my house. I did admit to easy child that I made a mistake, that I was so whipped from all the bad stuff that happened over the previous six months with her older sibs that I just needed a break so bad. She said, what if you get depressed again? Good question. I told her that I had more support now, and that I wouldn't put us in a situation where her older sibs could create such havoc in my household.</p><p> </p><p>Well, what's done is done. For her dad to refuse to let her leave would put him in violation of our court approved parenting plan, which calls for her to reside with me. I would imagine he'd have to file a motion to change that. What is so frustrating for me is that his lawyers (he has one for the divorce matters and one for the appeal!) are both business partners with him in several real estate LLC's, so while I'm paying $500/hr to my lawyer, he is giving I.O.U.'s to his guys. Neither of them have been paid, as far as I know, for the past four years. Unless of course he has been hiding cash somewehre that evena forensic accountant can't find.</p><p> </p><p>Moral of the story: Never marry anyone you wouldn't want to be divorced from.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="recovering doormat, post: 273027, member: 5941"] Thanks for your suggestions. Dad is not a reasonable person and has a vested interest in making me out to be the inferior parent. He originally sued for sole custody and failed, but it took a year of hearings and a court appointed ad litem guardian to tell him no way. What has happened over time is that I have become tougher and he has become more laissez-faire. I think this is mostly due to his age, 57, and exhaustion from overwork. He isn't able or willing to give the supervision she needs now. I had thought that the pot smoking in the house stopped when my son was away in rehad (that's when I allowed easy child to stay over more frequently) but I've come to find out just this week that my older daughter has been smoking and drinking routinely, not necessarily in the house, but she's still doing it and that's a dealbreaker for her to move back in with me (the older daughter,I mean). This is a nightmare. I may have opened the door to him dragging out more legal wranglings (we separated in 2004, div. in 2007, still trying to settle division of property -everything is in his name, my sole income is alimoney and child support). If I could be certain that he would provide adequate supervision for her when she is not in school, I wouldn't challenge him. We have always had frequent and flexibles visitation, I have a key to his house and drive the kids to and from his residence several times a day. I do feel somewhat better that I brought it up to easy child yesterday, so it's no longer weighing heavily on my heart. She wants no part of more supervision from me, natch, so it was pointless to discuss it further. My shrink says to move her clothes and toiletries back to my house. I did admit to easy child that I made a mistake, that I was so whipped from all the bad stuff that happened over the previous six months with her older sibs that I just needed a break so bad. She said, what if you get depressed again? Good question. I told her that I had more support now, and that I wouldn't put us in a situation where her older sibs could create such havoc in my household. Well, what's done is done. For her dad to refuse to let her leave would put him in violation of our court approved parenting plan, which calls for her to reside with me. I would imagine he'd have to file a motion to change that. What is so frustrating for me is that his lawyers (he has one for the divorce matters and one for the appeal!) are both business partners with him in several real estate LLC's, so while I'm paying $500/hr to my lawyer, he is giving I.O.U.'s to his guys. Neither of them have been paid, as far as I know, for the past four years. Unless of course he has been hiding cash somewehre that evena forensic accountant can't find. Moral of the story: Never marry anyone you wouldn't want to be divorced from. [/QUOTE]
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How do I get easy child daughter to move back in with me?
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