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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 609665" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>I suggest taking him to a neuropsychologist, which is not a neurologist at all. neuropsychologist's are psychologists with special training in the brain and they are the most elite diagnosticians for childhood disorders in the US. Conduct Disorder is a diagnosis actually rarely given and usually not until after age eighteen and usually due to untreated mental illness. The fact that he is adopted, like three of my kids are, complicates things and here's why. </p><p></p><p>Do you know anything at all about if his birthmother did any drugs or drank during her pregnancy, even if it was early on and she didn't know she was pregnant yet? This matters. Also, are you aware of any neurological differences or psychiatric illnesses on either side of your son's DNA tree? This matters too. Many of us with adopted kids are astonished at how much they are like their biological parents, in spite of our influence and a different enviroment, because they are made up of 50% bio. mom's DNA and 50% bio. dad's DNA. Many people I know whose grown adopted kids met their birthparents are shocked at how much they are like people they have never met, including both good and not-so-good traits. Like you, my youngest adopted child was born with my being there...I did not cut the cord, but I saw everything and knew the birthmother really well by the time she delivered and fortunately birthmother and I are a lot alike and got along really well. Thus, Daughter is a lot like her birthmother and we get along great. To correctly diagnose an adopted child, it is easier if you have a far and wide idea of his genetic family tree. This is not a parenting issue. It is a very real disorder or it could be, but is less likely to be, an indicator that he may develop some mental illness later on.</p><p></p><p>Now my adopted son had a much tougher start in life. He had cocaine in his system at birth and his birthmother danced out of the hospital as soon as she gave birth and had not had any prenatal care (also important). He has high functioning autism and was first diagnosed with ADHD/ODD. Now when he was in kindergarten he had tons of friends because he was so active and the other kids loved to run with him. As he grew older, and friendships grew more complicated and required more talking and pretend play, his friendships dropped off. He is twenty now and doing well, but he had early intensive interventions. You really do need to be sure of what you are dealing with, which is trickier when a child is not your biological child unless you know tons about the DNA history of your child.</p><p></p><p>I have no idea where the defiance is coming from, but I would forget about Conduct Disorder. He is likely aware that he is different and frustrated that he can't do what the other kids can do. Can he maybe play a sport? How does he get along with his same age peers? Can you please give us some background on his very early years? How was his infancy and toddlerhood and then at age four and five? Did he have any delays or speech problems? Did he hit all his milestones on time, including physical ones and pottying? How does he do academically? Does he react to certain food textures, materials, tags in back of his shirt, socks, or loud noise? Is he able to appropriately relate to his SAME AGE peers?</p><p></p><p>This may not be as serious as some of us are facing, but we want to help you keep it that way <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /> A good, intensive neuropsychologist evaluation would help you. It is usually 6-10 hours of testing (I'd question the neuropsysch if it were any less). He will test in all areas of function and then point you in the right direction for the proper treatment and help. </p><p></p><p>It's always fun to talk to other adoptive parents, especially one who had the great experience of watching her child's birth, just like I did. Can you believe my husband wouldn't watch the birth? He felt embarassed to do so and waited in the hallway! LOL <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /></p><p></p><p>Welcome to the board. Others will also come along with suggestions. These are mine.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 609665, member: 1550"] I suggest taking him to a neuropsychologist, which is not a neurologist at all. neuropsychologist's are psychologists with special training in the brain and they are the most elite diagnosticians for childhood disorders in the US. Conduct Disorder is a diagnosis actually rarely given and usually not until after age eighteen and usually due to untreated mental illness. The fact that he is adopted, like three of my kids are, complicates things and here's why. Do you know anything at all about if his birthmother did any drugs or drank during her pregnancy, even if it was early on and she didn't know she was pregnant yet? This matters. Also, are you aware of any neurological differences or psychiatric illnesses on either side of your son's DNA tree? This matters too. Many of us with adopted kids are astonished at how much they are like their biological parents, in spite of our influence and a different enviroment, because they are made up of 50% bio. mom's DNA and 50% bio. dad's DNA. Many people I know whose grown adopted kids met their birthparents are shocked at how much they are like people they have never met, including both good and not-so-good traits. Like you, my youngest adopted child was born with my being there...I did not cut the cord, but I saw everything and knew the birthmother really well by the time she delivered and fortunately birthmother and I are a lot alike and got along really well. Thus, Daughter is a lot like her birthmother and we get along great. To correctly diagnose an adopted child, it is easier if you have a far and wide idea of his genetic family tree. This is not a parenting issue. It is a very real disorder or it could be, but is less likely to be, an indicator that he may develop some mental illness later on. Now my adopted son had a much tougher start in life. He had cocaine in his system at birth and his birthmother danced out of the hospital as soon as she gave birth and had not had any prenatal care (also important). He has high functioning autism and was first diagnosed with ADHD/ODD. Now when he was in kindergarten he had tons of friends because he was so active and the other kids loved to run with him. As he grew older, and friendships grew more complicated and required more talking and pretend play, his friendships dropped off. He is twenty now and doing well, but he had early intensive interventions. You really do need to be sure of what you are dealing with, which is trickier when a child is not your biological child unless you know tons about the DNA history of your child. I have no idea where the defiance is coming from, but I would forget about Conduct Disorder. He is likely aware that he is different and frustrated that he can't do what the other kids can do. Can he maybe play a sport? How does he get along with his same age peers? Can you please give us some background on his very early years? How was his infancy and toddlerhood and then at age four and five? Did he have any delays or speech problems? Did he hit all his milestones on time, including physical ones and pottying? How does he do academically? Does he react to certain food textures, materials, tags in back of his shirt, socks, or loud noise? Is he able to appropriately relate to his SAME AGE peers? This may not be as serious as some of us are facing, but we want to help you keep it that way :) A good, intensive neuropsychologist evaluation would help you. It is usually 6-10 hours of testing (I'd question the neuropsysch if it were any less). He will test in all areas of function and then point you in the right direction for the proper treatment and help. It's always fun to talk to other adoptive parents, especially one who had the great experience of watching her child's birth, just like I did. Can you believe my husband wouldn't watch the birth? He felt embarassed to do so and waited in the hallway! LOL :) Welcome to the board. Others will also come along with suggestions. These are mine. [/QUOTE]
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