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General Parenting
how do you cope??
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<blockquote data-quote="Andy" data-source="post: 375388" data-attributes="member: 5096"><p>What would she do if you told her that you don't care how late she stayed up. She can read or do quiet activities as long as she stays in her room? You drop your side of the struggle and see how long/far she wants to play tug of war without an opponent?</p><p> </p><p>When Diva was a toddler, I figured out the reason she would get up in the middle of the night was to play with me. I put her on the floor in front of the couch with some toys and told her she could play all she wanted but not with me. She soon figured out she would not get my attention in the middle of the night.</p><p> </p><p>I know that your difficult child has struggles I have not had to deal with so if my suggestions don't work, I can entirely understand.</p><p> </p><p>This nightly ritual of yours has become a habit. Since she is not working with you to relax and learn to fall asleep, maybe she does need to be left on her own to do so. </p><p></p><p>If she can stay out of trouble doing so, I would say to her tonight, "difficult child, I have tried all I can to help you. It is not working! So, since you are almost 12 years old, it is up to you to figure out how to spend your nights before falling to sleep. You will need to do so quietly and stay in your room after everyone else has gone to theirs." Then suggest some activities. Does she like coloring, playing with dolls, reading?</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Andy, post: 375388, member: 5096"] What would she do if you told her that you don't care how late she stayed up. She can read or do quiet activities as long as she stays in her room? You drop your side of the struggle and see how long/far she wants to play tug of war without an opponent? When Diva was a toddler, I figured out the reason she would get up in the middle of the night was to play with me. I put her on the floor in front of the couch with some toys and told her she could play all she wanted but not with me. She soon figured out she would not get my attention in the middle of the night. I know that your difficult child has struggles I have not had to deal with so if my suggestions don't work, I can entirely understand. This nightly ritual of yours has become a habit. Since she is not working with you to relax and learn to fall asleep, maybe she does need to be left on her own to do so. If she can stay out of trouble doing so, I would say to her tonight, "difficult child, I have tried all I can to help you. It is not working! So, since you are almost 12 years old, it is up to you to figure out how to spend your nights before falling to sleep. You will need to do so quietly and stay in your room after everyone else has gone to theirs." Then suggest some activities. Does she like coloring, playing with dolls, reading? [/QUOTE]
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