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how do you deal with the feelings of guilt?
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<blockquote data-quote="'nette" data-source="post: 143753" data-attributes="member: 4983"><p>wow....reading about others who have the same struggles as i do....is such insight..... i agree with so many of your statements...like trying to teach that you are who you keep company with...i always said " if you lay with dogs ....you get fleas " ...my daughter thinks everyone she meets today is her BEST long lost friend in the world ....but she doesn't know that yesterday they killed their family ( exagerated....but you get the idea... ) also i have gotten to the point of taking emotion out of our conversations already because i have been through years of DRAMA to DIE for one day & then 6 months of no calls..... the calling all day from jail and not calling before that for 6 months until i called to tell her that her grandfather died...and she matter of factly informed me that she had a baby 2 days ago.... then no calls again until the night her 5 week old baby was hurt and she called from the hospital.... </p><p> i listen to her rantings about how she HAS to get out of jail to prove her innocence and she was being SUCH a good mother this time( who had a 20 person party that the police got called to the night before because of a stabbing and a backyard bonfire & a fight in the house that resulted in the baby's crib hitting the wall.....and a house so deplorable that DFCS took her rights to her child away the day after she took him to the hospital )</p><p>i listen to her SWEAR that this boyfriend just couldn't hurt her baby! ( a "man" who just quit selling meth on the streets to be with her & raise her child as his own and wasn't working yet...and who came out of the foster care system after his parents both overdosed on heroin.... and who told her the DAY of the polygraph " oh yeah i forgot to mention i "may" have dropped him a couple of times"....& who AFTER being jailed told her in a letter that " i "may" have rolled over on top of him by accident when i fell asleep " ( AFTER the judge told them in court that the child had broken ribs and fractured limbs ) this was the reason he was denied bail... and the doctors say that none of these things caused the serious injuries to this child... someone snatched this baby out of his crib by his feet and shook him... it wrenches my stomach.... he is being charged with aggrivated battery to an infant & child abuse....</p><p>HER charge is that she waited 14 hours after being advised by the emergency room nurse to bring him to the hospital immediately. she swears he was FINE ....BUT then why would she have called the emergency room??? & THEY feel the reason she didn't take him was for fear of the abuse being found out....so they think she knows that the boyfriend did something and is protecting him....</p><p>in the meantime.... i am hearing soooooo many versions of the story just from HER....and frankly i tend to believe the professionals like the investigators and the doctors and the lawyers....who she says are all lying about everything & out to "get her" and the boyfriend....</p><p>my #1 advise to her is to drop the loser and think about what defending him means to her child....to the judge AND to HER & her case....</p><p>so there is the "rest of the story" and thanks to you guys for reading and replying...it makes me feel like maybe other GOOD people have these troubles too.... i praise the lord every day that i have my other daughter to kind of let me know that i wasn't the cause of all the older one's drama....lack of mothering...lack of judgement...lack of respect....etc. although if you didn't know ME...she would tell you some TALL tales of her childhood....</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="'nette, post: 143753, member: 4983"] wow....reading about others who have the same struggles as i do....is such insight..... i agree with so many of your statements...like trying to teach that you are who you keep company with...i always said " if you lay with dogs ....you get fleas " ...my daughter thinks everyone she meets today is her BEST long lost friend in the world ....but she doesn't know that yesterday they killed their family ( exagerated....but you get the idea... ) also i have gotten to the point of taking emotion out of our conversations already because i have been through years of DRAMA to DIE for one day & then 6 months of no calls..... the calling all day from jail and not calling before that for 6 months until i called to tell her that her grandfather died...and she matter of factly informed me that she had a baby 2 days ago.... then no calls again until the night her 5 week old baby was hurt and she called from the hospital.... i listen to her rantings about how she HAS to get out of jail to prove her innocence and she was being SUCH a good mother this time( who had a 20 person party that the police got called to the night before because of a stabbing and a backyard bonfire & a fight in the house that resulted in the baby's crib hitting the wall.....and a house so deplorable that DFCS took her rights to her child away the day after she took him to the hospital ) i listen to her SWEAR that this boyfriend just couldn't hurt her baby! ( a "man" who just quit selling meth on the streets to be with her & raise her child as his own and wasn't working yet...and who came out of the foster care system after his parents both overdosed on heroin.... and who told her the DAY of the polygraph " oh yeah i forgot to mention i "may" have dropped him a couple of times"....& who AFTER being jailed told her in a letter that " i "may" have rolled over on top of him by accident when i fell asleep " ( AFTER the judge told them in court that the child had broken ribs and fractured limbs ) this was the reason he was denied bail... and the doctors say that none of these things caused the serious injuries to this child... someone snatched this baby out of his crib by his feet and shook him... it wrenches my stomach.... he is being charged with aggrivated battery to an infant & child abuse.... HER charge is that she waited 14 hours after being advised by the emergency room nurse to bring him to the hospital immediately. she swears he was FINE ....BUT then why would she have called the emergency room??? & THEY feel the reason she didn't take him was for fear of the abuse being found out....so they think she knows that the boyfriend did something and is protecting him.... in the meantime.... i am hearing soooooo many versions of the story just from HER....and frankly i tend to believe the professionals like the investigators and the doctors and the lawyers....who she says are all lying about everything & out to "get her" and the boyfriend.... my #1 advise to her is to drop the loser and think about what defending him means to her child....to the judge AND to HER & her case.... so there is the "rest of the story" and thanks to you guys for reading and replying...it makes me feel like maybe other GOOD people have these troubles too.... i praise the lord every day that i have my other daughter to kind of let me know that i wasn't the cause of all the older one's drama....lack of mothering...lack of judgement...lack of respect....etc. although if you didn't know ME...she would tell you some TALL tales of her childhood.... [/QUOTE]
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how do you deal with the feelings of guilt?
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