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General Parenting
how do you dicipline when no consequences work??
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<blockquote data-quote="DammitJanet" data-source="post: 553750" data-attributes="member: 1514"><p>Welcome to the board. Im going to tell you what my son who is now 26 has told me about his behavior when he was a kid. He has said that while we did everything we could do...and he fully realizes he was a total pain in the rear, nothing we could have done was going to drastically alter his behavior because that was simply how he wanted to act. He knows now that he was an idiot and ruined his life and if he could do things over again he would behave so much better but he cant. He really screwed the pooch for himself. I had him in every kind of therapy from the time he was 4 until I just gave up at 17. </p><p></p><p>The best things we did were to make him responsible for his own actions. That is mighty hard at 8. I would think he needs to be on some kind of medication at least for the ADD and probably something for calming down his rages. I would bet my left arm that he has some form of impulse control disorder. He may have temper dysregulation disorder. You do have to discipline him somehow though. Some people have an issue with discipline but that means to teach. You need to work on teaching him better ways. It may mean plenty of doing the same thing over and over. He calls his mom bad names, he goes into the bathroom and says the bad names to the mirror for 15 minutes. He keeps doing it, next time its 30 minutes. He throws things, he loses the things he throws. </p><p></p><p>Dr Phil talks about Commando Parenting in one of his books and this is something you have to go into and your child cannot win this war. Take everything out of his room except for his mattress, blankets and pillows, a couple of changes of clothes and a few stuffed animals. Everything else is in another room. You have to be able to control him. Check out Dr Phils book that has this in it. I think its Family First but you can probably get the info on his website. I also like The Defiant Child by Doug Riley.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="DammitJanet, post: 553750, member: 1514"] Welcome to the board. Im going to tell you what my son who is now 26 has told me about his behavior when he was a kid. He has said that while we did everything we could do...and he fully realizes he was a total pain in the rear, nothing we could have done was going to drastically alter his behavior because that was simply how he wanted to act. He knows now that he was an idiot and ruined his life and if he could do things over again he would behave so much better but he cant. He really screwed the pooch for himself. I had him in every kind of therapy from the time he was 4 until I just gave up at 17. The best things we did were to make him responsible for his own actions. That is mighty hard at 8. I would think he needs to be on some kind of medication at least for the ADD and probably something for calming down his rages. I would bet my left arm that he has some form of impulse control disorder. He may have temper dysregulation disorder. You do have to discipline him somehow though. Some people have an issue with discipline but that means to teach. You need to work on teaching him better ways. It may mean plenty of doing the same thing over and over. He calls his mom bad names, he goes into the bathroom and says the bad names to the mirror for 15 minutes. He keeps doing it, next time its 30 minutes. He throws things, he loses the things he throws. Dr Phil talks about Commando Parenting in one of his books and this is something you have to go into and your child cannot win this war. Take everything out of his room except for his mattress, blankets and pillows, a couple of changes of clothes and a few stuffed animals. Everything else is in another room. You have to be able to control him. Check out Dr Phils book that has this in it. I think its Family First but you can probably get the info on his website. I also like The Defiant Child by Doug Riley. [/QUOTE]
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how do you dicipline when no consequences work??
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