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General Parenting
How do you discipline your children?
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<blockquote data-quote="gcvmom" data-source="post: 136925" data-attributes="member: 3444"><p>We have a local parenting columnist who speaks regularly on the topic and has written several books on disciplining with love, and her system does work well. We don't have to yell, we don't have to hit, and our kids have been much more cooperative because the cost to them for NOT being "good" is just too great for them.</p><p> </p><p><a href="http://www.sandymcdaniel.com/" target="_blank">http://www.sandymcdaniel.com/</a></p><p> </p><p><a href="http://www.sandymcdaniel.com/parentingsos/sos.htm" target="_blank">http://www.sandymcdaniel.com/parentingsos/sos.htm</a></p><p> </p><p>In a nutshell, the kids lose time from their "life" (15 min. free time) for transgressions (parent gets to decide when that time is served -- might be the first part of their favorite show, might be at the start of a playdate with a friend, etx.), and if the offense involves hitting or being rude to someone, they get an instant timeout in the "penalty box" -- one minute per year of age -- which can be doubled if they continue to be uncooperative. At first, difficult child 1 racked up 90 minutes in the penalty box! He was ticked, but he realized we were serious about what he'd done and that he would serve out the penalty.</p><p> </p><p>At first, it does take an investment of time. Consider it training and education for both you and the difficult child!</p><p> </p><p>Eventually, the child realizes they will lose something they value or be bored to death if they don't follow the rules.</p><p> </p><p>The most important thing, though, is never to withhold your love for the child. The next most important thing is clearly stating the rules/expectations, and then being VERY consistent in your enforcement. Kids are natural boundary pushers, so you have to expect that they will test you every time. And as parents, we just have to make sure we reinforce our expectations every time, or it won't work.</p><p> </p><p>McDaniel has used this system with all kids at all different ages and developmental abilities.</p><p> </p><p>Anyway, enough proselytizing!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="gcvmom, post: 136925, member: 3444"] We have a local parenting columnist who speaks regularly on the topic and has written several books on disciplining with love, and her system does work well. We don't have to yell, we don't have to hit, and our kids have been much more cooperative because the cost to them for NOT being "good" is just too great for them. [URL]http://www.sandymcdaniel.com/[/URL] [URL]http://www.sandymcdaniel.com/parentingsos/sos.htm[/URL] In a nutshell, the kids lose time from their "life" (15 min. free time) for transgressions (parent gets to decide when that time is served -- might be the first part of their favorite show, might be at the start of a playdate with a friend, etx.), and if the offense involves hitting or being rude to someone, they get an instant timeout in the "penalty box" -- one minute per year of age -- which can be doubled if they continue to be uncooperative. At first, difficult child 1 racked up 90 minutes in the penalty box! He was ticked, but he realized we were serious about what he'd done and that he would serve out the penalty. At first, it does take an investment of time. Consider it training and education for both you and the difficult child! Eventually, the child realizes they will lose something they value or be bored to death if they don't follow the rules. The most important thing, though, is never to withhold your love for the child. The next most important thing is clearly stating the rules/expectations, and then being VERY consistent in your enforcement. Kids are natural boundary pushers, so you have to expect that they will test you every time. And as parents, we just have to make sure we reinforce our expectations every time, or it won't work. McDaniel has used this system with all kids at all different ages and developmental abilities. Anyway, enough proselytizing! [/QUOTE]
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