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How do you handle clueless questions about your difficult child?
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<blockquote data-quote="TheyAreLegallyAdultsNow" data-source="post: 374623" data-attributes="member: 8405"><p>Welcome 7 Jewels! This is an awesome site filled with warrior parents who love their children! I'm glad you're here... and I hope you find the pat phrase that has worked for us to be successful for you too. </p><p></p><p>HeartsandRoses It's funny/strange, not funny/"ha ha" how in-laws are perceived as out-laws and ex-in-laws are perceived to be the devil incarnate! We live in a culture where parental "wisdom" is ridiculed and youth supposedly know it all. Mothers get blamed for everything... If you look at Disney... almost every cartoon movie they make the starring child has no mother... or an evil step mother. Be grateful you have two who really try to understand and be supportive. </p><p></p><p>I find most people WANT to be supportive... they just don't know HOW to be supportive. </p><p></p><p>Especially pertaining to Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD), what is successful for MOST "NORMAL" children... is poison on steroids for Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD). </p><p></p><p>Most of our support is of the "I don't want to get involved... but I love you" variety... I'll take it over the back stabbing techniques we've been encountering any day. What I'd LOVE is for people to reach out and WRAP our family in HELPFUL support like this awesome booklet I found on line today recommends. </p><p></p><p><strong><a href="http://www.icareaboutorphans.org/doctor/WRAPBookletWEB.pdf" target="_blank">http://www.icareaboutorphans.org/doctor/WRAPBookletWEB.pdf</a> </strong></p><p>The booklet is a FREE DOWNLOAD PDF on the above link... or it can be ordered for $1 per booklet on the following site <a href="http://www.icareaboutorphans.org/RBooks.aspx" target="_blank">http://www.icareaboutorphans.org/RBooks.aspx</a> I'm thinking of investing a couple of dollars and sending it to people I know. People that I don't believe are evil... but people who are ignorant, hurtful and in desperate need of an education. </p><p></p><p>My husband confronted his sister last night about going behind our backs and hiding the way she's playing kissy-face with our adopteds. She's trying to be the "cool" aunt who "understands." She doesn't understand how her hidden behavior feeds into the kids Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD). She doesn't realize she's being triangulated. She doesn't understand that by listening to their lies and not confronting their Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) behavior she is feeding the beast. </p><p></p><p>I don't know about your difficult child's diagnosis-s I talk about Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) because that is what I know first hand by parenting a sibling group adopted out of foster care. It doesn't make sense to me at all... but I am so grateful for those who have gone before and shared their story and let me know I'm not imagining it. I'm a huge fan of education. </p><p></p><p>Perhaps it would do well to educate your family members INCLUDING the difficult children about their mental health diagnoses educate about what promotes health... and what enables illness. </p><p></p><p>I'm praying for all the amazing warrior parents here, and I'm so grateful to have met you all along this rocky path we share!!!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="TheyAreLegallyAdultsNow, post: 374623, member: 8405"] Welcome 7 Jewels! This is an awesome site filled with warrior parents who love their children! I'm glad you're here... and I hope you find the pat phrase that has worked for us to be successful for you too. HeartsandRoses It's funny/strange, not funny/"ha ha" how in-laws are perceived as out-laws and ex-in-laws are perceived to be the devil incarnate! We live in a culture where parental "wisdom" is ridiculed and youth supposedly know it all. Mothers get blamed for everything... If you look at Disney... almost every cartoon movie they make the starring child has no mother... or an evil step mother. Be grateful you have two who really try to understand and be supportive. I find most people WANT to be supportive... they just don't know HOW to be supportive. Especially pertaining to Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD), what is successful for MOST "NORMAL" children... is poison on steroids for Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD). Most of our support is of the "I don't want to get involved... but I love you" variety... I'll take it over the back stabbing techniques we've been encountering any day. What I'd LOVE is for people to reach out and WRAP our family in HELPFUL support like this awesome booklet I found on line today recommends. [B][url]http://www.icareaboutorphans.org/doctor/WRAPBookletWEB.pdf[/url] [/B] The booklet is a FREE DOWNLOAD PDF on the above link... or it can be ordered for $1 per booklet on the following site [url]http://www.icareaboutorphans.org/RBooks.aspx[/url] I'm thinking of investing a couple of dollars and sending it to people I know. People that I don't believe are evil... but people who are ignorant, hurtful and in desperate need of an education. My husband confronted his sister last night about going behind our backs and hiding the way she's playing kissy-face with our adopteds. She's trying to be the "cool" aunt who "understands." She doesn't understand how her hidden behavior feeds into the kids Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD). She doesn't realize she's being triangulated. She doesn't understand that by listening to their lies and not confronting their Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) behavior she is feeding the beast. I don't know about your difficult child's diagnosis-s I talk about Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) because that is what I know first hand by parenting a sibling group adopted out of foster care. It doesn't make sense to me at all... but I am so grateful for those who have gone before and shared their story and let me know I'm not imagining it. I'm a huge fan of education. Perhaps it would do well to educate your family members INCLUDING the difficult children about their mental health diagnoses educate about what promotes health... and what enables illness. I'm praying for all the amazing warrior parents here, and I'm so grateful to have met you all along this rocky path we share!!! [/QUOTE]
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