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How do you handle lying?
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<blockquote data-quote="trinityroyal" data-source="post: 349367" data-attributes="member: 3907"><p>With my difficult child 1, the assumption is that if his lips are moving, he's lying. He lies all the time, about everything from trivia to very important things.</p><p>I don't ask questions. I especially don't ask the question "why". Honestly, I don't want to know. And even if I did, his answers are generally so incoherent that it hurts my brain to try and sort it all out.</p><p></p><p>I've told difficult child 1 the following:</p><p>I don't believe a word he says, unless I have corroborating independent proof from a reliable source (e.g. I can see with my own eyes, husband tells me, staff at the Residential Treatment Center (RTC) confirm, etc.)</p><p>Even if he's telling the truth "this time", he cannot be upset that I don't believe him "this time", because he caused my lack of trust in him.</p><p>Unless he can show me by a long string of truth-telling (years, I think it would take at this point) that he's not in the habit of lying anymore, this won't change.</p><p></p><p>Then I just don't worry about it and let the Big Fish stories roll off my back. Detachment really helps in this instance.</p><p></p><p>Trinity</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="trinityroyal, post: 349367, member: 3907"] With my difficult child 1, the assumption is that if his lips are moving, he's lying. He lies all the time, about everything from trivia to very important things. I don't ask questions. I especially don't ask the question "why". Honestly, I don't want to know. And even if I did, his answers are generally so incoherent that it hurts my brain to try and sort it all out. I've told difficult child 1 the following: I don't believe a word he says, unless I have corroborating independent proof from a reliable source (e.g. I can see with my own eyes, husband tells me, staff at the Residential Treatment Center (RTC) confirm, etc.) Even if he's telling the truth "this time", he cannot be upset that I don't believe him "this time", because he caused my lack of trust in him. Unless he can show me by a long string of truth-telling (years, I think it would take at this point) that he's not in the habit of lying anymore, this won't change. Then I just don't worry about it and let the Big Fish stories roll off my back. Detachment really helps in this instance. Trinity [/QUOTE]
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How do you handle lying?
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