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How do you handle lying?
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<blockquote data-quote="dashcat" data-source="post: 350109" data-attributes="member: 9175"><p>I have been beating my head against this particular wall for years. I somehow thought I could "teach" difficult child to tell the truth - that I could help her to see the value of it. I reacted the way I did to Allan's well-intentioned suggestions becasue that's the kind of thing I hear in the real world. I am quickly learning that real world strategies do not work with difficult children. I'm learning a whole new set of rules here. </p><p> </p><p>I am beginning to understand that her lying is not something I can fix. I cannot lead by example. I cannot make her tell the truth by "catching" her, nor can I coerce the truth from her by making her feel safe. </p><p> </p><p>She lies about job hunting, she told her academic advisor that she could not complete an assignmen because her cousin was killed in a DUI (saying he was the driver and killed two others),she claims to have been hospitlized for anorexia, that I have called her a "dirty *****" ....none of this is even close to the truth ... I could go on and on......</p><p> </p><p>It's maddening, but it is hers to own. Thank you for helping me to see this.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="dashcat, post: 350109, member: 9175"] I have been beating my head against this particular wall for years. I somehow thought I could "teach" difficult child to tell the truth - that I could help her to see the value of it. I reacted the way I did to Allan's well-intentioned suggestions becasue that's the kind of thing I hear in the real world. I am quickly learning that real world strategies do not work with difficult children. I'm learning a whole new set of rules here. I am beginning to understand that her lying is not something I can fix. I cannot lead by example. I cannot make her tell the truth by "catching" her, nor can I coerce the truth from her by making her feel safe. She lies about job hunting, she told her academic advisor that she could not complete an assignmen because her cousin was killed in a DUI (saying he was the driver and killed two others),she claims to have been hospitlized for anorexia, that I have called her a "dirty *****" ....none of this is even close to the truth ... I could go on and on...... It's maddening, but it is hers to own. Thank you for helping me to see this. [/QUOTE]
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How do you handle lying?
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