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How do you help a fatherless child?
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<blockquote data-quote="flutterbee" data-source="post: 209521"><p>My father did more damage being around.</p><p></p><p>My daughter's father has made no attempt to contact her since she was 3. When she asks, I tell her that he loves her, but that he just doesn't know how to show it. </p><p></p><p>I do bring up positives about him. I'll tell her things she does that are like him - how she flicks her toes, which she's done in infancy, is something her father always did. I tell her she gets her interest in cooking from him. Highlight the positives - however few there may be - to give her a sense of connection.</p><p></p><p>It was harder when she was younger and wasn't able to understand why he didn't want to see her. It's still hard for her, but not as much. I've always repeated the same thing - that he loves her in his way, but that he just never learned how to show it. I don't speak ill of him in her presence. </p><p></p><p>Having a strong family bond can make a lot of difference. My family is pretty dysfunctional and we don't communicate other than with my mom and my paternal grandmother - and on rare occasions, my father. I do believe that made it harder because she didn't have a strong male figure to compensate. My step-father had the opportunity to fill in that gap, but unfortunately he wasn't that interested in Wynter.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="flutterbee, post: 209521"] My father did more damage being around. My daughter's father has made no attempt to contact her since she was 3. When she asks, I tell her that he loves her, but that he just doesn't know how to show it. I do bring up positives about him. I'll tell her things she does that are like him - how she flicks her toes, which she's done in infancy, is something her father always did. I tell her she gets her interest in cooking from him. Highlight the positives - however few there may be - to give her a sense of connection. It was harder when she was younger and wasn't able to understand why he didn't want to see her. It's still hard for her, but not as much. I've always repeated the same thing - that he loves her in his way, but that he just never learned how to show it. I don't speak ill of him in her presence. Having a strong family bond can make a lot of difference. My family is pretty dysfunctional and we don't communicate other than with my mom and my paternal grandmother - and on rare occasions, my father. I do believe that made it harder because she didn't have a strong male figure to compensate. My step-father had the opportunity to fill in that gap, but unfortunately he wasn't that interested in Wynter. [/QUOTE]
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