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How do you help a fatherless child?
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<blockquote data-quote="lovemysons" data-source="post: 210270" data-attributes="member: 3305"><p>Hi donna, YES your post made very good sense. I am so sorry to hear of so much pain that your son's biodad caused him and at the same time...so happy to hear that he has finally able to see things clearly and understand that he was not to blame. Hugs for you...and like so many mom's here that have replied...alot of soul searching and clearly a painful situation to go through with your child. </p><p></p><p>Jennifer, I love the "mommy and me" book idea. I may have to look for something like that for M and Joey as time goes on. And you're right, who knows, M may one day marry that "family man" she so desperately craves and wishes were young difficult child. </p><p></p><p>Steph, So sorry to hear of Sabrina's disapointments but it sounds like you have done a good job helping her accept what is and not to expect things from him that he can's/won't deliver. I think you're right that it helps to see and know alittle along the way so that they don't imagine some type of hero ideal...I know meeting my bio dad at 17 was VERY disappointing. I definitely wanted him to be more than he was. </p><p></p><p>DDD, Just BE might sweet self huh, smile. You are a dear person. I hope you always know that. I just KNOW that you have been the "sunshine" in your grandson/son's life. I hope you always know what a blessing you are. </p><p></p><p>Thank you lothlorien...Right now I can't seem to find the right words to encourage young difficult child. Right now, I feel more compelled to try and "guilt him" into behaving/doing the right things. I am just so angry and disappointed in him. But you are right, and in time maybe I will be able to appropriately encourage him. </p><p></p><p>Today is Joey's birthday...it is also M's birthday. He is his mom's lil gift, smile. I just sung them happy birthday over the phone. They are going to a book store to get some kids books then going to the park together and reading/playing. </p><p>Tomorrow night will be "the party". I expect everyone to be there: Me, husband, Oldest difficult child, easy child, all of M's family...but young difficult child will likely be getting drunk somewhere, missing out. </p><p>My hope is that through the years if young difficult child is absent that Joey may glance over and notice that his father is not looking, not there...but that he will go right back to living and playing and remembering that he is loved by many and his all of his needs met. I hope it will not be as "big of a deal" as it was for me and others growing up. </p><p></p><p>Thank you again for sharing your story's with me and some of what you did that helped...thanks to you, I have more now that I can share with M too that may help her emotionally guide Joey in the right direction. </p><p></p><p>Yall are the bestest! </p><p>hugs and love, </p><p>Tammy</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="lovemysons, post: 210270, member: 3305"] Hi donna, YES your post made very good sense. I am so sorry to hear of so much pain that your son's biodad caused him and at the same time...so happy to hear that he has finally able to see things clearly and understand that he was not to blame. Hugs for you...and like so many mom's here that have replied...alot of soul searching and clearly a painful situation to go through with your child. Jennifer, I love the "mommy and me" book idea. I may have to look for something like that for M and Joey as time goes on. And you're right, who knows, M may one day marry that "family man" she so desperately craves and wishes were young difficult child. Steph, So sorry to hear of Sabrina's disapointments but it sounds like you have done a good job helping her accept what is and not to expect things from him that he can's/won't deliver. I think you're right that it helps to see and know alittle along the way so that they don't imagine some type of hero ideal...I know meeting my bio dad at 17 was VERY disappointing. I definitely wanted him to be more than he was. DDD, Just BE might sweet self huh, smile. You are a dear person. I hope you always know that. I just KNOW that you have been the "sunshine" in your grandson/son's life. I hope you always know what a blessing you are. Thank you lothlorien...Right now I can't seem to find the right words to encourage young difficult child. Right now, I feel more compelled to try and "guilt him" into behaving/doing the right things. I am just so angry and disappointed in him. But you are right, and in time maybe I will be able to appropriately encourage him. Today is Joey's birthday...it is also M's birthday. He is his mom's lil gift, smile. I just sung them happy birthday over the phone. They are going to a book store to get some kids books then going to the park together and reading/playing. Tomorrow night will be "the party". I expect everyone to be there: Me, husband, Oldest difficult child, easy child, all of M's family...but young difficult child will likely be getting drunk somewhere, missing out. My hope is that through the years if young difficult child is absent that Joey may glance over and notice that his father is not looking, not there...but that he will go right back to living and playing and remembering that he is loved by many and his all of his needs met. I hope it will not be as "big of a deal" as it was for me and others growing up. Thank you again for sharing your story's with me and some of what you did that helped...thanks to you, I have more now that I can share with M too that may help her emotionally guide Joey in the right direction. Yall are the bestest! hugs and love, Tammy [/QUOTE]
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