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General Parenting
How do you keep your sanity when your kids routinely lie to you?
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<blockquote data-quote="recovering doormat" data-source="post: 216750" data-attributes="member: 5941"><p>Thanks so much for the support and advice. My kids got access to my house because I only locked the bottom doorknob lock, which my daughter found her key to. The upper deadbolt that no one has the key to I left unlocked in case my ex had to come to the house for my youngest's cheerleading outfit or asthma medications. Dumb, dumb, dumb. That won't happen again.</p><p> </p><p>I filed a police report but because I don't know when the jewelry disappeared and there isn't any one suspect, it's mostly for the insurance. Which probably won't help because the rider my ex had purchased to cover this jewlery only applied to our marital home, and I don't live there anymore -- when we divorced neither of us thought to change the rider. Again, stupid, stupid, stupid.</p><p> </p><p>Son says daughter's Myspace friends took the jewelry, but he admitted that he didn't know for sure, was just guessing. Daughter claims she doesn't know anything about it and didn't have strange young men here. Again, one lies and the other swears to it. Waste of time.</p><p> </p><p>My ex and I think that our son or his friends may have taken them because our son has a history of thievery from us. Money from my wallet, quarters in a cookie tin he swiped from dad's room (dad caught him) and most recently, my ex discovered yesterday that hundreds of dollars worth of unrolled quarters were missing from a huge plastic jug he kept hidden in the back of his bathroom linen closet. He estimated there was over a grand in quarters in that jug; when he checked yesterday there was perhaps $70 left. He is absolutely sick about it because he was going to take all the change, years and years worth, to the bank so he could buy Christmas gifts and pay the $800 gas bill that has been in arrears for two months. Now he's borrowed from a friend for the utilities and Christmas will be leaner than ever for our three kids.</p><p> </p><p>It gets more disturbing every day. We know our boy is smoking weed and now we think we know where he's getting the money. My ex told me today that keeps finding ceramic coffee mugs with saucers placed on top, and inside is a wad of kleenex that has been saturated with some kind of liquid. He was throwing out the kleenex and washing the cups and lids, until yesterday he decided to sniff the tissue and found it was not dampened with water but with some kind of solvent. Neither of us has a clue as to what that's about: could it be a way of "huffing" or it is something to do with grinding up pills and snorting them (my older daughter told me some kids smash up Tylenol and snort them for the high, and I had a cousin whose kid crushed her Ritalin and snorted them).</p><p> </p><p>Ex and I have come to the conclusion that our boy is way over his head with drugs and needs rehab, either a local day program or residential. We just don't know when the next wall of sh** is going to fall on us, but it seems to be almost daily now.</p><p> </p><p>Is there a website where I find out what the paraphernalia I find is connected to? I really want to know. My ex looked into a kid's backpack that was left at his home and found some kind of jerry-rigged tool for snorting stuff: an auto wrench with an enlongated cylinder with a hard plastic strawn duct-taped to it so the straw connected to a hole in the wrenchhead. I am scared to death.</p><p> </p><p>Son has a court date Tuesday and we don't know what is going to happen. He has refused to go to school the past three days and I'm sure that will affect the disposition of his case (disorderly conduct and criminial mischief).</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="recovering doormat, post: 216750, member: 5941"] Thanks so much for the support and advice. My kids got access to my house because I only locked the bottom doorknob lock, which my daughter found her key to. The upper deadbolt that no one has the key to I left unlocked in case my ex had to come to the house for my youngest's cheerleading outfit or asthma medications. Dumb, dumb, dumb. That won't happen again. I filed a police report but because I don't know when the jewelry disappeared and there isn't any one suspect, it's mostly for the insurance. Which probably won't help because the rider my ex had purchased to cover this jewlery only applied to our marital home, and I don't live there anymore -- when we divorced neither of us thought to change the rider. Again, stupid, stupid, stupid. Son says daughter's Myspace friends took the jewelry, but he admitted that he didn't know for sure, was just guessing. Daughter claims she doesn't know anything about it and didn't have strange young men here. Again, one lies and the other swears to it. Waste of time. My ex and I think that our son or his friends may have taken them because our son has a history of thievery from us. Money from my wallet, quarters in a cookie tin he swiped from dad's room (dad caught him) and most recently, my ex discovered yesterday that hundreds of dollars worth of unrolled quarters were missing from a huge plastic jug he kept hidden in the back of his bathroom linen closet. He estimated there was over a grand in quarters in that jug; when he checked yesterday there was perhaps $70 left. He is absolutely sick about it because he was going to take all the change, years and years worth, to the bank so he could buy Christmas gifts and pay the $800 gas bill that has been in arrears for two months. Now he's borrowed from a friend for the utilities and Christmas will be leaner than ever for our three kids. It gets more disturbing every day. We know our boy is smoking weed and now we think we know where he's getting the money. My ex told me today that keeps finding ceramic coffee mugs with saucers placed on top, and inside is a wad of kleenex that has been saturated with some kind of liquid. He was throwing out the kleenex and washing the cups and lids, until yesterday he decided to sniff the tissue and found it was not dampened with water but with some kind of solvent. Neither of us has a clue as to what that's about: could it be a way of "huffing" or it is something to do with grinding up pills and snorting them (my older daughter told me some kids smash up Tylenol and snort them for the high, and I had a cousin whose kid crushed her Ritalin and snorted them). Ex and I have come to the conclusion that our boy is way over his head with drugs and needs rehab, either a local day program or residential. We just don't know when the next wall of sh** is going to fall on us, but it seems to be almost daily now. Is there a website where I find out what the paraphernalia I find is connected to? I really want to know. My ex looked into a kid's backpack that was left at his home and found some kind of jerry-rigged tool for snorting stuff: an auto wrench with an enlongated cylinder with a hard plastic strawn duct-taped to it so the straw connected to a hole in the wrenchhead. I am scared to death. Son has a court date Tuesday and we don't know what is going to happen. He has refused to go to school the past three days and I'm sure that will affect the disposition of his case (disorderly conduct and criminial mischief). [/QUOTE]
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