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How do you know when parents shouldn't be...
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<blockquote data-quote="Nancy" data-source="post: 71614" data-attributes="member: 59"><p>There came a point in my life that I confronted my dad with the fact that he was an alcoholic and unless he got help I couldn't be involved in his life anymore. I told my mom that I owuld help her leave him and help take care of her but if she stayed and he didn't get help I would no longer allow myself to be made sick over them. Dad chose to not get help and mom chose to stay. I left their lives for about eight years, no calls, no visits, no contact. I cried every holiday and birthday.</p><p></p><p>During those eight years I got therapy, it is ironic that the child is the one to get the therapy and the parent continues on their destructive ways. At any rate I finally learned how to not allow my parents to make me miserable and discovered I was now an adult and the only one that could make me happy. It came with a lot of hard work and pain.</p><p></p><p>I allowed them back in my life when my mom got ill and needed help and dad was finally able to accept why we had seperated for so long and began getting help himself.</p><p></p><p>It's a long and painful journey. You can and will someday accept the fact that your parents will never be who you want them to be. After you get stronger you may be able to accept them for who they are on your terms and go forward.</p><p></p><p>Nancy</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Nancy, post: 71614, member: 59"] There came a point in my life that I confronted my dad with the fact that he was an alcoholic and unless he got help I couldn't be involved in his life anymore. I told my mom that I owuld help her leave him and help take care of her but if she stayed and he didn't get help I would no longer allow myself to be made sick over them. Dad chose to not get help and mom chose to stay. I left their lives for about eight years, no calls, no visits, no contact. I cried every holiday and birthday. During those eight years I got therapy, it is ironic that the child is the one to get the therapy and the parent continues on their destructive ways. At any rate I finally learned how to not allow my parents to make me miserable and discovered I was now an adult and the only one that could make me happy. It came with a lot of hard work and pain. I allowed them back in my life when my mom got ill and needed help and dad was finally able to accept why we had seperated for so long and began getting help himself. It's a long and painful journey. You can and will someday accept the fact that your parents will never be who you want them to be. After you get stronger you may be able to accept them for who they are on your terms and go forward. Nancy [/QUOTE]
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