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How do you maintain a positive paradigm?
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<blockquote data-quote="nvts" data-source="post: 147845" data-attributes="member: 3814"><p>Hey Steely! I don't know about anyone else, but I have made a few conclusions in my "wonderful" life.</p><p> </p><p>1. Depression is a useless emotion unless appropriately used upon others to gain what you want. </p><p> </p><p>2. I always try to find the "funny". If I can't, I redirect to something that is. (Try Mrs. Hughes - the comedienne - she's very funny, down to earth and has that "confusion/sarcasm" thing down to a T!).</p><p> </p><p>3. I know now when to call it quits. Now I don't want to go all religious on you here, but you asked so I'm telling. Every once in a while I just turn around, look at the sky and say "you know what God, ickety-ackety-oook (you have to sound like Bugs Bunny - don't know if you're particularly familiar with the episode in my mind) - it's yours." I just hand it off. It's too much to handle so I give it to him. </p><p> </p><p>4. I don't dwell on stuff. If it comes slipping in when I don't expect it, I push it away to an "assigned" time. Then I go into the shower at it's "assigned time" and cry. </p><p> </p><p>Look, you've been through hell and you're just on your way back. There are no quick answers, in certain instances there won't be answers. Ultimately, I think you need to consider what you "goal of grieving" should be. If at the end of the 7 steps of grief you are expecting answers, you'll never get to the 7th step (acceptance). If you're expecting peace, you'll get there. But it's a slow, painstaking process.</p><p> </p><p>I think part of the issue here may be that you are looking to maintain a positive paradigm, but you're beating yourself for indulging in happiness.</p><p> </p><p>Find the funny, laugh at the funny and hand it all off to a "higher power" if you believe in one.</p><p> </p><p>Thinking often of you!</p><p> </p><p>Beth</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="nvts, post: 147845, member: 3814"] Hey Steely! I don't know about anyone else, but I have made a few conclusions in my "wonderful" life. 1. Depression is a useless emotion unless appropriately used upon others to gain what you want. 2. I always try to find the "funny". If I can't, I redirect to something that is. (Try Mrs. Hughes - the comedienne - she's very funny, down to earth and has that "confusion/sarcasm" thing down to a T!). 3. I know now when to call it quits. Now I don't want to go all religious on you here, but you asked so I'm telling. Every once in a while I just turn around, look at the sky and say "you know what God, ickety-ackety-oook (you have to sound like Bugs Bunny - don't know if you're particularly familiar with the episode in my mind) - it's yours." I just hand it off. It's too much to handle so I give it to him. 4. I don't dwell on stuff. If it comes slipping in when I don't expect it, I push it away to an "assigned" time. Then I go into the shower at it's "assigned time" and cry. Look, you've been through hell and you're just on your way back. There are no quick answers, in certain instances there won't be answers. Ultimately, I think you need to consider what you "goal of grieving" should be. If at the end of the 7 steps of grief you are expecting answers, you'll never get to the 7th step (acceptance). If you're expecting peace, you'll get there. But it's a slow, painstaking process. I think part of the issue here may be that you are looking to maintain a positive paradigm, but you're beating yourself for indulging in happiness. Find the funny, laugh at the funny and hand it all off to a "higher power" if you believe in one. Thinking often of you! Beth [/QUOTE]
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