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How do you mend your broken heart
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<blockquote data-quote="Nomad" data-source="post: 368499"><p>(Hugs)</p><p>Our adopted child is our difficult child. We've been through 20+ years of great sorrow. I am very familiar with your question. And likely very familiar with your pain. I have asked this question and/or something like it for years.</p><p>Not sure mine is completely mended, but it is significantly better.</p><p>I have learned to accept much of what the situation. Some say that our child would have been worse with-o our love and support and this is likely very true. It rarely provides comfort...but it sometimes helps a tad (and I'll take what I can). It is nice to know in a way, that we more than likely have helped her be the best that she could be. Naturally, I wish it were more. But she has innate difficulties that are beyond what I can teach her. Perhaps, in a certain kind of way, she has taught me many very difficult life lessons that I would have not learned with-o her presence. It has been harder than words can provide...and no doubt you feel the same way.</p><p>What has helped us????? Learning to accept certain things. Learning to move foward (personally) in life even with- this difficulty. PRoviding our daughter with- help when we are able, but not doing anything that will hurt us and nurturing ourselves and giving ourselves much love and care. When they are little ones...yes, it is our repsonsibillity to give it all we can...but once they reach 18, that door starts to close. AT 21, it really is SHUT. It is THEIR responsibility to figure it all out. This is the PE forum...and its hard hard hard .... but we must move on. We must detach. We must give it to a Higher Power and hope for the best. Therapy helps...setting boundaries....healthy 'selfishness' and doing things that are self nurturing....all can do wonders for a broken heart. You have my good thoughts, hugs and prayers.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Nomad, post: 368499"] (Hugs) Our adopted child is our difficult child. We've been through 20+ years of great sorrow. I am very familiar with your question. And likely very familiar with your pain. I have asked this question and/or something like it for years. Not sure mine is completely mended, but it is significantly better. I have learned to accept much of what the situation. Some say that our child would have been worse with-o our love and support and this is likely very true. It rarely provides comfort...but it sometimes helps a tad (and I'll take what I can). It is nice to know in a way, that we more than likely have helped her be the best that she could be. Naturally, I wish it were more. But she has innate difficulties that are beyond what I can teach her. Perhaps, in a certain kind of way, she has taught me many very difficult life lessons that I would have not learned with-o her presence. It has been harder than words can provide...and no doubt you feel the same way. What has helped us????? Learning to accept certain things. Learning to move foward (personally) in life even with- this difficulty. PRoviding our daughter with- help when we are able, but not doing anything that will hurt us and nurturing ourselves and giving ourselves much love and care. When they are little ones...yes, it is our repsonsibillity to give it all we can...but once they reach 18, that door starts to close. AT 21, it really is SHUT. It is THEIR responsibility to figure it all out. This is the PE forum...and its hard hard hard .... but we must move on. We must detach. We must give it to a Higher Power and hope for the best. Therapy helps...setting boundaries....healthy 'selfishness' and doing things that are self nurturing....all can do wonders for a broken heart. You have my good thoughts, hugs and prayers. [/QUOTE]
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