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Substance Abuse
How do you stop living in fear over what could happen to your difficult child?
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<blockquote data-quote="lovemysons" data-source="post: 495313" data-attributes="member: 3305"><p>DDD, </p><p>I don't think you are the "pot calling the kettle black". I think you are protective of your difficult child son for good reason! What he experienced must have scared you to death! If I were in your shoes I am quite sure I would want to be as supportive.</p><p>My son...did not have the Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI). He just is moving like a turtle through life...has been in no hurry at all in recent years to grow up! Honestly, after he got kicked out of the Army I think he lost his motivation to move forward. I think he has been afraid that he will "fail" again. </p><p>I agree with you and Susie that It is time for me to investigate half-way houses and alternative living arrangements when he is released from Jail. </p><p>Today I will call his probation officer and try to get some info from her on what to expect next...as far as release time period. I will also discuss half-way houses with her and see if she has anything to offer. </p><p></p><p>Rejectedmom...</p><p>Thank you for your words of encouragement. Smile. So you have been watching me through the years huh? I'm glad you see progress. Truth be told I am scared. But I need to be more afraid of not doing anything. Of not helping young difficult child to become (as Susie put it) self reliant and independent. G-d forbid his children have to grow up visiting him at jails...or worse burying him. </p><p>I have to trust in my Higher Power and believe that young difficult child can do this. It is time...for both of us. </p><p>I think your suggestion of a codependency group for me is a good one and I may look into that sometime soon. </p><p></p><p>Sue, </p><p>You are one strong lady! I don't think it was selfish of you at all...I think it was self preservation. And...No doubt your difficult child saw this in you! You were a great example of how to survive and push onward trusting that your difficult child COULD do it too! Thank you for the hope. </p><p></p><p>Buddy, </p><p>Truth be told I am scared to death! I am walking into a dark unknown with young difficult child. I have no idea what will happen, what he will do next, if he will make it. </p><p>But I have to put on a "brave face" and at least pretend in front of him that I think all will be fine...that he can do this. I also know that there are No Guarantees. But what I am doing have done...is not working. My mother also told me that he could kill himself anywhere, at our home while I am at "the casino" or at a homeless shelter or the streets. That I have no control over this. </p><p>I cannot let fear rule the day in our lives forever. Young difficult child surely suffers from my lack of faith in front of him. This is going to be hard for me, very hard. I will lean on you all to get through this. I will listen to your examples with your own difficult child's and I will keep trying to learn to let go and trust that we will all make it to the other side of this "unknown". </p><p></p><p>Thank you all for the support, the encouragement, the words of wisdom. Thank you for just taking the time to care. This board is a mother's heart saver. </p><p></p><p>Hugs, </p><p>LMS</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="lovemysons, post: 495313, member: 3305"] DDD, I don't think you are the "pot calling the kettle black". I think you are protective of your difficult child son for good reason! What he experienced must have scared you to death! If I were in your shoes I am quite sure I would want to be as supportive. My son...did not have the Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI). He just is moving like a turtle through life...has been in no hurry at all in recent years to grow up! Honestly, after he got kicked out of the Army I think he lost his motivation to move forward. I think he has been afraid that he will "fail" again. I agree with you and Susie that It is time for me to investigate half-way houses and alternative living arrangements when he is released from Jail. Today I will call his probation officer and try to get some info from her on what to expect next...as far as release time period. I will also discuss half-way houses with her and see if she has anything to offer. Rejectedmom... Thank you for your words of encouragement. Smile. So you have been watching me through the years huh? I'm glad you see progress. Truth be told I am scared. But I need to be more afraid of not doing anything. Of not helping young difficult child to become (as Susie put it) self reliant and independent. G-d forbid his children have to grow up visiting him at jails...or worse burying him. I have to trust in my Higher Power and believe that young difficult child can do this. It is time...for both of us. I think your suggestion of a codependency group for me is a good one and I may look into that sometime soon. Sue, You are one strong lady! I don't think it was selfish of you at all...I think it was self preservation. And...No doubt your difficult child saw this in you! You were a great example of how to survive and push onward trusting that your difficult child COULD do it too! Thank you for the hope. Buddy, Truth be told I am scared to death! I am walking into a dark unknown with young difficult child. I have no idea what will happen, what he will do next, if he will make it. But I have to put on a "brave face" and at least pretend in front of him that I think all will be fine...that he can do this. I also know that there are No Guarantees. But what I am doing have done...is not working. My mother also told me that he could kill himself anywhere, at our home while I am at "the casino" or at a homeless shelter or the streets. That I have no control over this. I cannot let fear rule the day in our lives forever. Young difficult child surely suffers from my lack of faith in front of him. This is going to be hard for me, very hard. I will lean on you all to get through this. I will listen to your examples with your own difficult child's and I will keep trying to learn to let go and trust that we will all make it to the other side of this "unknown". Thank you all for the support, the encouragement, the words of wisdom. Thank you for just taking the time to care. This board is a mother's heart saver. Hugs, LMS [/QUOTE]
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How do you stop living in fear over what could happen to your difficult child?
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