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How do you watch them leave without falling apart?
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<blockquote data-quote="toughlovin" data-source="post: 393324"><p>Nancy, Hugs to you. I think it is the hardest thing a parent has to do.... to take a tough stand with their kid and tell them they can't live there, they won't give them money etc. It is heartbreaking and it goes against our natural mom instincts to protect and care for our chlldren. No matter how old they are they are still our babies and we have that mom instinct. Except that part of the normal process is for kids to grow up, take responsibility for their lives and for mom to let go. But it is so hard to let go when they are not really doing their part in taking responsibility and caring for themselves. Then we end up having to not only let go but to push them out of the nest and it is hard hard hard. Please don't give yourself a hard time about not detaching enough...it is a process. It does not happen over night. I am no expert at detaching because i still get caught up in it too.... but I do know I am more detached now than I was a year ago. The best thing I have found to help is distraction.... doing some fun things with others, going to work, reading a book. or doing a puzzle. Anything really to take my mind off him. The other thing is to recognize that right now you may not be as on top of things as usual.... I know in the worst of times I get very forgetful and pretty flaky about some things. My brain just can't handle it all.... so I try to focus on the things that are really important and not worry about the rest. Above all take care of yourself. A weekend away sounds perfect. Do your best to enjoy yourself or at least enjoy the moments you can. Hugs.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="toughlovin, post: 393324"] Nancy, Hugs to you. I think it is the hardest thing a parent has to do.... to take a tough stand with their kid and tell them they can't live there, they won't give them money etc. It is heartbreaking and it goes against our natural mom instincts to protect and care for our chlldren. No matter how old they are they are still our babies and we have that mom instinct. Except that part of the normal process is for kids to grow up, take responsibility for their lives and for mom to let go. But it is so hard to let go when they are not really doing their part in taking responsibility and caring for themselves. Then we end up having to not only let go but to push them out of the nest and it is hard hard hard. Please don't give yourself a hard time about not detaching enough...it is a process. It does not happen over night. I am no expert at detaching because i still get caught up in it too.... but I do know I am more detached now than I was a year ago. The best thing I have found to help is distraction.... doing some fun things with others, going to work, reading a book. or doing a puzzle. Anything really to take my mind off him. The other thing is to recognize that right now you may not be as on top of things as usual.... I know in the worst of times I get very forgetful and pretty flaky about some things. My brain just can't handle it all.... so I try to focus on the things that are really important and not worry about the rest. Above all take care of yourself. A weekend away sounds perfect. Do your best to enjoy yourself or at least enjoy the moments you can. Hugs. [/QUOTE]
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How do you watch them leave without falling apart?
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