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General Parenting
How do your mornings go? Any tips for a smoother AM?
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<blockquote data-quote="Allan-Matlem" data-source="post: 151965" data-attributes="member: 10"><p>Hi,</p><p>Maybe you can try and collaborate with him and try to solve the problem out of the moment.</p><p>You can say that you don't want to be a nag in the mornings but you are concerned that dad's sleep is being disturbed , is there a way that you can remind him to try and be a little more quiet withut becoming a nag ?</p><p>If he does not have a suggestion , you can suggest maybe using a code word which he can choose or some gesture/sign language.</p><p>You can also talk to him about the morning ritual in general , how to make it less pressurized and more pleasant for both of you. When kids see that their concerns are of genuine interest to us and are being addressed they are open to empathize with our concerns. This is a process of building trust and problem solving. It is rather different from rewards and consequences which are useful for getting short-term compliance. When we use rewards and punishments and rules , we are basically saying to a kid I don't trust you to meet my expectations without the reward or punishment in place. If the kid then breaks the rule , we have lttle option but to give a consequence. However if you have expectations and they are unmet , you can ask yourself how can I help my kid meet the expectations , and work with him rather than ' doing to' him. When solutions are not being folllowed through , we go back to the drawing board - it could be that there is a missing skill or the child needs more experiience to trust ' problem solving . It can take up to 30-40 experiences so general chat discussing other peoples problems and soltions is so important. The more we problem solve or even involve a kid in problem solving , here is always important learning taking place.</p><p>Allan</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Allan-Matlem, post: 151965, member: 10"] Hi, Maybe you can try and collaborate with him and try to solve the problem out of the moment. You can say that you don't want to be a nag in the mornings but you are concerned that dad's sleep is being disturbed , is there a way that you can remind him to try and be a little more quiet withut becoming a nag ? If he does not have a suggestion , you can suggest maybe using a code word which he can choose or some gesture/sign language. You can also talk to him about the morning ritual in general , how to make it less pressurized and more pleasant for both of you. When kids see that their concerns are of genuine interest to us and are being addressed they are open to empathize with our concerns. This is a process of building trust and problem solving. It is rather different from rewards and consequences which are useful for getting short-term compliance. When we use rewards and punishments and rules , we are basically saying to a kid I don't trust you to meet my expectations without the reward or punishment in place. If the kid then breaks the rule , we have lttle option but to give a consequence. However if you have expectations and they are unmet , you can ask yourself how can I help my kid meet the expectations , and work with him rather than ' doing to' him. When solutions are not being folllowed through , we go back to the drawing board - it could be that there is a missing skill or the child needs more experiience to trust ' problem solving . It can take up to 30-40 experiences so general chat discussing other peoples problems and soltions is so important. The more we problem solve or even involve a kid in problem solving , here is always important learning taking place. Allan [/QUOTE]
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How do your mornings go? Any tips for a smoother AM?
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