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how does difficult child treat siblings?
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 375588" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>Wiz spent 4 months in a locked psychiatric hospital ward because I caught him trying to kill Jess. After he was in we learned it had been going on at night for a long time. She didn't tell us because he said he would kill thank you if she told. Of all the crazy things, our cat (who adored Jess and got us any time she cried as a baby) got me up and led me into Jessie's room! When I managed to make Wiz show his true behaviors at the psychiatric hospital he made a list of all he had done to her. It took 2 sessions with the therapist to go through it all. After each session I went to the bathroom off the ward and vomited until blood came up. It was the most incredibly awful and painful thing I have ever experienced.</p><p> </p><p>Now, after a LOT of therapy and having Wiz live with my parents for the last 4 years, they have an awesome relationship. Wiz turned himself around in a major way and is a very protective and caring older bro. He is beside himself over her movement disorder because we have not been able to find a doctor to help her in any way. He even offered to find drugs like oxycontin if it would help her. We declined, of course, but it was a nice idea done with good motives. (Docs keep telling her to look six months down the road when the movements stop and she has an addiction to pain medications. It has been well over a year since it started and it only gets worse, so right now none of us would CARE about 6 mos down the road if she could just stop hurting now!)</p><p> </p><p>For a LONG time (many years) we did not let them be alone in a room with each other. If only one of us was home, the same sex child went into the bathroom with us if we had to go!!! It was really hard for us, esp when husband worked days and I worked nights because we had to have someone home at all times because we got called up to school so much!</p><p> </p><p>I didn't let them do the same activity at the same time. If a fight started then whatever they were doing stopped immediately.</p><p> </p><p>We had one therapist who told us to give Wiz a token each time he did something that wasn't mean to Jessie. Five tokens were supposed to get a new book. It was the most outrageously awful thing I had ever heard of!!!!! WTH was Jessie supposed to think about herself when her own brother had to be paid to not be mean to her????? </p><p> </p><p>The therapist was doing postgrad work supervised by a real therapist. His supervising therapist was NOT amused by this - and was NOT shy in explaining that you must take the entire family into account when you set up a plan, not just the child you are treating!!! (Our psychiatrist worked with them and was also infuriated by this suggestion. She made sure that both the baby therapist and the real therapist knew about it too.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 375588, member: 1233"] Wiz spent 4 months in a locked psychiatric hospital ward because I caught him trying to kill Jess. After he was in we learned it had been going on at night for a long time. She didn't tell us because he said he would kill thank you if she told. Of all the crazy things, our cat (who adored Jess and got us any time she cried as a baby) got me up and led me into Jessie's room! When I managed to make Wiz show his true behaviors at the psychiatric hospital he made a list of all he had done to her. It took 2 sessions with the therapist to go through it all. After each session I went to the bathroom off the ward and vomited until blood came up. It was the most incredibly awful and painful thing I have ever experienced. Now, after a LOT of therapy and having Wiz live with my parents for the last 4 years, they have an awesome relationship. Wiz turned himself around in a major way and is a very protective and caring older bro. He is beside himself over her movement disorder because we have not been able to find a doctor to help her in any way. He even offered to find drugs like oxycontin if it would help her. We declined, of course, but it was a nice idea done with good motives. (Docs keep telling her to look six months down the road when the movements stop and she has an addiction to pain medications. It has been well over a year since it started and it only gets worse, so right now none of us would CARE about 6 mos down the road if she could just stop hurting now!) For a LONG time (many years) we did not let them be alone in a room with each other. If only one of us was home, the same sex child went into the bathroom with us if we had to go!!! It was really hard for us, esp when husband worked days and I worked nights because we had to have someone home at all times because we got called up to school so much! I didn't let them do the same activity at the same time. If a fight started then whatever they were doing stopped immediately. We had one therapist who told us to give Wiz a token each time he did something that wasn't mean to Jessie. Five tokens were supposed to get a new book. It was the most outrageously awful thing I had ever heard of!!!!! WTH was Jessie supposed to think about herself when her own brother had to be paid to not be mean to her????? The therapist was doing postgrad work supervised by a real therapist. His supervising therapist was NOT amused by this - and was NOT shy in explaining that you must take the entire family into account when you set up a plan, not just the child you are treating!!! (Our psychiatrist worked with them and was also infuriated by this suggestion. She made sure that both the baby therapist and the real therapist knew about it too. [/QUOTE]
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