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How does one not take it so personal?
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<blockquote data-quote="barneysmom" data-source="post: 369513" data-attributes="member: 1872"><p>Hey,</p><p></p><p>I learned a ton on an encopresis forum (encopresis.org) which is now taken over by some product for enco called Soilng Solutions. Dang, that forum was the real deal. </p><p></p><p>I told difficult child that he would be able to take charge of the enco and that I was confident he could do it (the forum said difficult child had to feel like he was in charge, I wasn't all that confident but tried act as though I was most of the time). </p><p></p><p>I think with all the other stuff we've mentioned, the ADHD and sensory issues had a lot to do with it. Maybe even the <u>most</u> to do with it. Sensory-wise, difficult child doesn't feel "little" sensations so he was missing out on a lot of subtle cues from his body, and the ones he noticed, he probably ignored because he was busy doing something else or didn't want to go to the bathroom in school. I told him to pay close attention to his body and learn to respond to every little bubble, rumble, rumble, tiny fart etc. and most of all not to wait. It was his job and journey to get to know his body. It turned out that he was really interested in doing that. He made quite a few trips to the bathroom in response to many different cues (he didn't tell me, I just saw him go).</p><p></p><p>I'm wondering if our kids smell how bad it is if they are under-stimulated in a sensory way. Or maybe just no clue how the process works -- like first you feel "this" (like a rumbling tummy), then you go to the bathroom, then you pull up your pants and be on your way. When I lay it out like that, it's like an executive function thing in the frontal lobe. Stimulus -- action -- response. That does not come easy for my difficult child in most areas. </p><p></p><p>Another tip was to make the bathroom a nice, comfortable, private place. Well ours was private but I can't say it was "nice," it was and still often is a pit! </p><p></p><p>Like Esther, I did clean up but difficult child had to agree to no more leaving yucky smelly pants under his bed. He still tried to do this a lot -- the hiding. But he got over it because I told him I wouldn't clean any pants I found reeking under his bed. He also had to agree to drinking three big glasses of water a day. Miralax didn't work for us. I didn't even realize there was a choice, the pediatrician. didn't say "See what works best for you" he said "Give him Miralax." A friend of mine who works in hospice (constipated chemo clients) recommended Senna S -- softener with a little kick of laxative which difficult child needs. I still give it to him daily, he has trouble without it, gets constipated and overflows the toilet, that's the first warning sign.</p><p></p><p>We also keep an eye on anything he hypefocuses on (for us it's computer game). He has to be vigilant during these times -- knows these are risky activities and that he can't afford to ignore or procrastinate any signals. Also crucial for maintenance -- 3 big glasses water a day, and three square meals at regular times to help establish bowel routine. He doesn't get privileges unless he meets these requirements (still eats at night often though).</p><p></p><p>I know this subject has been discussed a lot -- just adding 2 cents. For me, the ADHD and sensory issues added another layer. difficult child will have to be careful with hydration and nutrition for the rest of his life. </p><p></p><p>hugs, hang in there, sorry so long</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="barneysmom, post: 369513, member: 1872"] Hey, I learned a ton on an encopresis forum (encopresis.org) which is now taken over by some product for enco called Soilng Solutions. Dang, that forum was the real deal. I told difficult child that he would be able to take charge of the enco and that I was confident he could do it (the forum said difficult child had to feel like he was in charge, I wasn't all that confident but tried act as though I was most of the time). I think with all the other stuff we've mentioned, the ADHD and sensory issues had a lot to do with it. Maybe even the [U]most[/U] to do with it. Sensory-wise, difficult child doesn't feel "little" sensations so he was missing out on a lot of subtle cues from his body, and the ones he noticed, he probably ignored because he was busy doing something else or didn't want to go to the bathroom in school. I told him to pay close attention to his body and learn to respond to every little bubble, rumble, rumble, tiny fart etc. and most of all not to wait. It was his job and journey to get to know his body. It turned out that he was really interested in doing that. He made quite a few trips to the bathroom in response to many different cues (he didn't tell me, I just saw him go). I'm wondering if our kids smell how bad it is if they are under-stimulated in a sensory way. Or maybe just no clue how the process works -- like first you feel "this" (like a rumbling tummy), then you go to the bathroom, then you pull up your pants and be on your way. When I lay it out like that, it's like an executive function thing in the frontal lobe. Stimulus -- action -- response. That does not come easy for my difficult child in most areas. Another tip was to make the bathroom a nice, comfortable, private place. Well ours was private but I can't say it was "nice," it was and still often is a pit! Like Esther, I did clean up but difficult child had to agree to no more leaving yucky smelly pants under his bed. He still tried to do this a lot -- the hiding. But he got over it because I told him I wouldn't clean any pants I found reeking under his bed. He also had to agree to drinking three big glasses of water a day. Miralax didn't work for us. I didn't even realize there was a choice, the pediatrician. didn't say "See what works best for you" he said "Give him Miralax." A friend of mine who works in hospice (constipated chemo clients) recommended Senna S -- softener with a little kick of laxative which difficult child needs. I still give it to him daily, he has trouble without it, gets constipated and overflows the toilet, that's the first warning sign. We also keep an eye on anything he hypefocuses on (for us it's computer game). He has to be vigilant during these times -- knows these are risky activities and that he can't afford to ignore or procrastinate any signals. Also crucial for maintenance -- 3 big glasses water a day, and three square meals at regular times to help establish bowel routine. He doesn't get privileges unless he meets these requirements (still eats at night often though). I know this subject has been discussed a lot -- just adding 2 cents. For me, the ADHD and sensory issues added another layer. difficult child will have to be careful with hydration and nutrition for the rest of his life. hugs, hang in there, sorry so long [/QUOTE]
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