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General Parenting
How does one not take it so personal?
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 369519" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>I have never dealt first hand with encopresis, so my suggestion of Depends was just that - a suggestion. I don't really have any idea if they would be helpful, if they would be a battle, or if they would make things worse. Every family has to work out what works best for them, regardless of what the problems are. </p><p></p><p>Others have given some great advice for the encopresis.</p><p></p><p>As for WHY he goes through everything? It is all HIS. Every single thing in the world is his and he has the right to go through it whenever he wants. I honestly believe that our difficult children believe this. They KNOW it is true like they know the sky is blue and like they know that they are perfect and the problems are all caused by someone else. It won't change unless/until the difficult child starts to believe something else. For Wiz the changes came when he BELIEVED he was going to end up in jail if he kept "taking things". Wiz let this belief extend to the point he was shoplifting. He knew he shouldn't, but he deserved the items he took - in his mind at least. When he saw that the outside world didn't care if he went through things at home when he was a kid he thought it meant he had a RIGHT to do it. When he started shoplifting it challenged that belief. He saw that he was going to JAIL and in jail he would have even fewer of his things than he would when he was in the psychiatric hospital. So he stopped stealing from others. Finally one of the cops told him that if they got a report that he went through ANYONE'S stuff then he would be arrested. This helped change his belief.</p><p></p><p>This is my take on it. I don't know why Wiz thought this, but he sure seemed to!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 369519, member: 1233"] I have never dealt first hand with encopresis, so my suggestion of Depends was just that - a suggestion. I don't really have any idea if they would be helpful, if they would be a battle, or if they would make things worse. Every family has to work out what works best for them, regardless of what the problems are. Others have given some great advice for the encopresis. As for WHY he goes through everything? It is all HIS. Every single thing in the world is his and he has the right to go through it whenever he wants. I honestly believe that our difficult children believe this. They KNOW it is true like they know the sky is blue and like they know that they are perfect and the problems are all caused by someone else. It won't change unless/until the difficult child starts to believe something else. For Wiz the changes came when he BELIEVED he was going to end up in jail if he kept "taking things". Wiz let this belief extend to the point he was shoplifting. He knew he shouldn't, but he deserved the items he took - in his mind at least. When he saw that the outside world didn't care if he went through things at home when he was a kid he thought it meant he had a RIGHT to do it. When he started shoplifting it challenged that belief. He saw that he was going to JAIL and in jail he would have even fewer of his things than he would when he was in the psychiatric hospital. So he stopped stealing from others. Finally one of the cops told him that if they got a report that he went through ANYONE'S stuff then he would be arrested. This helped change his belief. This is my take on it. I don't know why Wiz thought this, but he sure seemed to! [/QUOTE]
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How does one not take it so personal?
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