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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 479182" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Hi there. Welcome to the board, but so sorry that you have to be here. I had a drug-abusing daughter myself. She is clean now for seven years and has offered me a lot of wisdom about addiction. I will pass it along.</p><p></p><p>Basically, a person will not stop using drugs until he wants to stop. NOTHING will change that, not even sleeping on a park bench or eating out of a garbage can. Daughter thinks that enabling addict is not good because it is easier to use and gives no incentive to possibly quit. Not all addicts quit anyway, but it's easier to decide to try if you are not comfortable than if you are. She also told me "Never trust a drug addict. NEVER." They lie, they steal, they are ill and at the mercy of their addiction. </p><p></p><p>I would not beggar yourselves for a child who does not want to quit. When my daughter decided to quit, she did not use a program at all...she just did it. Not saying that all addicts can do it this way, but when they are ready they try VERY hard. Often they backslide a few times, but they pick themselves up and move ahead. </p><p></p><p>It is easy for the addict to become the focal point of our existence. I recommend going to Nar-Anon or Al-Anon to talk with likeminded parents going through the same things that you are. That really helped us focus off of Daughter and onto our other kids and our own lives and those who were not destroying themselves. </p><p></p><p>I want to reiterate that my daughter QUIT, which means that your son can QUIT and that any addict can QUIT so don't ever give up hoping for this. It can always happen, no matter how hopeless it seems today. I thought my daughter would end up either in jail or dead, that's how bad it was. She used everything from pot to meth to ADHD drugs (crushed them in a pillcrusher and snorted them sometimes with cocaine) to trying heroin once (yes, I also thought that once you tried it, you were hooked for life. Not true). I did not know the extent of her use until after she quit. I really thought it was mostly pot and alcohol...haha. If she can quit, anyone can. She now has gone back to school, graduates in december, and has a really good job related to her major. She bought a house with her boyfriend, who is clean and sober. There is hope for everybody.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 479182, member: 1550"] Hi there. Welcome to the board, but so sorry that you have to be here. I had a drug-abusing daughter myself. She is clean now for seven years and has offered me a lot of wisdom about addiction. I will pass it along. Basically, a person will not stop using drugs until he wants to stop. NOTHING will change that, not even sleeping on a park bench or eating out of a garbage can. Daughter thinks that enabling addict is not good because it is easier to use and gives no incentive to possibly quit. Not all addicts quit anyway, but it's easier to decide to try if you are not comfortable than if you are. She also told me "Never trust a drug addict. NEVER." They lie, they steal, they are ill and at the mercy of their addiction. I would not beggar yourselves for a child who does not want to quit. When my daughter decided to quit, she did not use a program at all...she just did it. Not saying that all addicts can do it this way, but when they are ready they try VERY hard. Often they backslide a few times, but they pick themselves up and move ahead. It is easy for the addict to become the focal point of our existence. I recommend going to Nar-Anon or Al-Anon to talk with likeminded parents going through the same things that you are. That really helped us focus off of Daughter and onto our other kids and our own lives and those who were not destroying themselves. I want to reiterate that my daughter QUIT, which means that your son can QUIT and that any addict can QUIT so don't ever give up hoping for this. It can always happen, no matter how hopeless it seems today. I thought my daughter would end up either in jail or dead, that's how bad it was. She used everything from pot to meth to ADHD drugs (crushed them in a pillcrusher and snorted them sometimes with cocaine) to trying heroin once (yes, I also thought that once you tried it, you were hooked for life. Not true). I did not know the extent of her use until after she quit. I really thought it was mostly pot and alcohol...haha. If she can quit, anyone can. She now has gone back to school, graduates in december, and has a really good job related to her major. She bought a house with her boyfriend, who is clean and sober. There is hope for everybody. [/QUOTE]
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