Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
How many of us have adult difficult children we don't talk to?
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="witzend" data-source="post: 178002" data-attributes="member: 99"><p>I don't talk to M and haven't for over four years. I did request that husband ask him to come to Mother's Day brunch, and he did. It was very superficial. He's still making poor decisions about work and life and would never ask for our advice. We have recently given him very slight financial help after he had burned all of his bridges.</p><p></p><p>His birthday is in a few weeks, and I want to send him something. A card at least, and maybe a gift certificate. But this is as much about my not being able to handle his not being grown up as it is about him not growing up. I love him. But if I don't like him, I can't stand being around him. He's not as bad as he was years ago, but he's still arrogant and superior. He's admitting doing horrible things to me to purposely hurt me, but never apologized. "I'm sorry" would go a long way towards healing. It means a lot to me. He's told me "I wouldn't be the man I am without you", but that's hardly the same, is it?</p><p></p><p>He won't take our advice and I don't know that I can withhold my advice or opinions when he says something stupid like he wants to quit his job working in a pharmacy because they fill ADHD drugs that he objects to. He said this at Mother's Day brunch. I mean, we never had him medicated, so that's not it, it's just superior thinking that he knows better than parents and doctors. I just can't battle him on this stuff, and if I can't walk away from it without thinking he's an arrogant idiot, I just need to leave him alone.</p><p></p><p>I don't pretend to know what the right thing to do here is. Maybe I'm making a huge mistake. Maybe I'm doing exactly what is needed. But it's what I'm comfortable with. Maybe one day I will be the one that changes in a way that makes things different. Maybe one day he will be. Maybe it will never happen. I hope he is happy, or finds a way to be happy. I can't let him use me as the focus of his discontent. Life's too short to live in the past forever.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="witzend, post: 178002, member: 99"] I don't talk to M and haven't for over four years. I did request that husband ask him to come to Mother's Day brunch, and he did. It was very superficial. He's still making poor decisions about work and life and would never ask for our advice. We have recently given him very slight financial help after he had burned all of his bridges. His birthday is in a few weeks, and I want to send him something. A card at least, and maybe a gift certificate. But this is as much about my not being able to handle his not being grown up as it is about him not growing up. I love him. But if I don't like him, I can't stand being around him. He's not as bad as he was years ago, but he's still arrogant and superior. He's admitting doing horrible things to me to purposely hurt me, but never apologized. "I'm sorry" would go a long way towards healing. It means a lot to me. He's told me "I wouldn't be the man I am without you", but that's hardly the same, is it? He won't take our advice and I don't know that I can withhold my advice or opinions when he says something stupid like he wants to quit his job working in a pharmacy because they fill ADHD drugs that he objects to. He said this at Mother's Day brunch. I mean, we never had him medicated, so that's not it, it's just superior thinking that he knows better than parents and doctors. I just can't battle him on this stuff, and if I can't walk away from it without thinking he's an arrogant idiot, I just need to leave him alone. I don't pretend to know what the right thing to do here is. Maybe I'm making a huge mistake. Maybe I'm doing exactly what is needed. But it's what I'm comfortable with. Maybe one day I will be the one that changes in a way that makes things different. Maybe one day he will be. Maybe it will never happen. I hope he is happy, or finds a way to be happy. I can't let him use me as the focus of his discontent. Life's too short to live in the past forever. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
How many of us have adult difficult children we don't talk to?
Top