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How many of us have adult difficult children we don't talk to?
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<blockquote data-quote="trinityroyal" data-source="post: 178316" data-attributes="member: 3907"><p>Lisa, this perfectly sums up the situation between difficult child and me.</p><p></p><p>What contact we do have is superficial. I do work closely with the staff at his Residential Treatment Center (RTC) to monitor the progress with his treatment and generally keep tabs on him, but I severely limit my interactions with him.</p><p></p><p>I think that even with a track record of 10 ro 15 years without a single slip-up, I would still be hard-pressed to trust difficult child again. I can't let him back in because he tore my heart up, nearly destroyed our family, and darn-near killed husband, and it's been a world of pain rebuilding our lives.</p><p></p><p>Over the last few months, difficult child's psychiatrist has tried some new treatments which have brought about positive changes for him. husband is thrilled with his progress to the point that I think he's being incautious in opening himself up to further heartbreak, but I'm still wary and very distant. I'm pleased to see that difficult child is making headway, BUT I can't believe in it. He is manipluative enough to be maintaining good behaviour just long enough to get back into everyone's good graces. </p><p></p><p>I had a long talk with difficult child's one-on-one staffer last week, and she mentioned the same concern, so we are both watching him with caution. </p><p></p><p>I have told difficult child more than once that I can't believe anything that comes out of his mouth, that I have to have independent proof, and without it I will always assume that he's lying. I've also told him that I avoid spending time with him because I hate his behaviour and what he has allowed himself to become.</p><p></p><p>I've spoken my piece and there's not really a whole lot more I have to say to him unless he decides to change his ways.</p><p></p><p>I have a very strange feeling that difficult child is hoping that if he behaves well long enough and shows that he's made progress, that husband and I will let him move back home again. (Frankly, I think husband having him at the house so often is feeding into this fantasy...for both of them). I do know that I will never live under the same roof as difficult child again, and if husband insists on bringing him back at some point, I will head straight out the door.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="trinityroyal, post: 178316, member: 3907"] Lisa, this perfectly sums up the situation between difficult child and me. What contact we do have is superficial. I do work closely with the staff at his Residential Treatment Center (RTC) to monitor the progress with his treatment and generally keep tabs on him, but I severely limit my interactions with him. I think that even with a track record of 10 ro 15 years without a single slip-up, I would still be hard-pressed to trust difficult child again. I can't let him back in because he tore my heart up, nearly destroyed our family, and darn-near killed husband, and it's been a world of pain rebuilding our lives. Over the last few months, difficult child's psychiatrist has tried some new treatments which have brought about positive changes for him. husband is thrilled with his progress to the point that I think he's being incautious in opening himself up to further heartbreak, but I'm still wary and very distant. I'm pleased to see that difficult child is making headway, BUT I can't believe in it. He is manipluative enough to be maintaining good behaviour just long enough to get back into everyone's good graces. I had a long talk with difficult child's one-on-one staffer last week, and she mentioned the same concern, so we are both watching him with caution. I have told difficult child more than once that I can't believe anything that comes out of his mouth, that I have to have independent proof, and without it I will always assume that he's lying. I've also told him that I avoid spending time with him because I hate his behaviour and what he has allowed himself to become. I've spoken my piece and there's not really a whole lot more I have to say to him unless he decides to change his ways. I have a very strange feeling that difficult child is hoping that if he behaves well long enough and shows that he's made progress, that husband and I will let him move back home again. (Frankly, I think husband having him at the house so often is feeding into this fantasy...for both of them). I do know that I will never live under the same roof as difficult child again, and if husband insists on bringing him back at some point, I will head straight out the door. [/QUOTE]
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How many of us have adult difficult children we don't talk to?
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