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How much having a difficult child influences on how you parent your PCs? (Joy being typical teen brat)
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<blockquote data-quote="Calamity Jane" data-source="post: 537842" data-attributes="member: 13882"><p>Hi SuZir,</p><p>If easy child was always easy child-ish and not borderline difficult child-ish, then it's probably typical teen. The landscaping job IS a godsend, and working IS the right thing to encourage any able bodied person to do, but for him, it does suck. He'd rather be hanging out with friends, the job is physically hard, and let's face it, he'd rather be enjoying his summer. You are trying to teach him responsibility and self sufficiency, and he is complaining.</p><p></p><p>The thing is...if he's showing up for work, working diligently, but blowing off steam to his friend who doesn't work...then I think you probably did overreact in this case. If, however, he's not waking up for work, sluggish and typical teen-ish while he's there, has a bad attitude twd boss/coworkers, etc., then it's another story. If not, just let him blow off steam.</p><p></p><p>He probably does resent your reaction, and probably feels like you were intruding on a private conversation. It's hard to be a easy child when you go through your teens, and it's so hard when you have an older difficult child who has a reputation, etc. I would just calmly talk to him about responsibility, etc., and maybe admit you came down too hard. Explain that in this economy, jobs for people his age are like finding a needle in a haystack, and that he should be proud that he has an oppty to earn his own spending money, and that you understand it's a sacrifice giving up time in the summer, but everything worthwhile comes at a price. </p><p></p><p>Being a typical teen, he will probably not appreciate it, but don't worry...you're doing the right thing! I might also tell him that you overreacted because you truly do not want him to follow the same arrogant path his brother followed, and experience all the negative consequences difficult child experienced. You always have his best interests in mind, etc., etc.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Calamity Jane, post: 537842, member: 13882"] Hi SuZir, If easy child was always easy child-ish and not borderline difficult child-ish, then it's probably typical teen. The landscaping job IS a godsend, and working IS the right thing to encourage any able bodied person to do, but for him, it does suck. He'd rather be hanging out with friends, the job is physically hard, and let's face it, he'd rather be enjoying his summer. You are trying to teach him responsibility and self sufficiency, and he is complaining. The thing is...if he's showing up for work, working diligently, but blowing off steam to his friend who doesn't work...then I think you probably did overreact in this case. If, however, he's not waking up for work, sluggish and typical teen-ish while he's there, has a bad attitude twd boss/coworkers, etc., then it's another story. If not, just let him blow off steam. He probably does resent your reaction, and probably feels like you were intruding on a private conversation. It's hard to be a easy child when you go through your teens, and it's so hard when you have an older difficult child who has a reputation, etc. I would just calmly talk to him about responsibility, etc., and maybe admit you came down too hard. Explain that in this economy, jobs for people his age are like finding a needle in a haystack, and that he should be proud that he has an oppty to earn his own spending money, and that you understand it's a sacrifice giving up time in the summer, but everything worthwhile comes at a price. Being a typical teen, he will probably not appreciate it, but don't worry...you're doing the right thing! I might also tell him that you overreacted because you truly do not want him to follow the same arrogant path his brother followed, and experience all the negative consequences difficult child experienced. You always have his best interests in mind, etc., etc. [/QUOTE]
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