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General Parenting
How much should a grandmother help with her daughters 4 children under 9???
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<blockquote data-quote="donna723" data-source="post: 376388" data-attributes="member: 1883"><p>I agree with klmno - the problem is not when you go or how long you stay or what you do while you're there. The problem is right there in the house with her already - she has a husband who won't lift a finger to help with HIS OWN CHILDREN and still expects perfection out of her! Under these conditions, I would be very reluctant to "help out" at all, especially since she is verbally abusing you and you are being treated like a servant! Sorry, but I just couldn't do that! There is no reason for him to help out if you go there for months at a time and slave away all day and in to the evening! He thinks it's OK for you to travel 1,200 miles to help out with HIS kids and HIS house ... while he's sitting right there like a big, useless lump? Her husband and his father are treating her like a servant and she has transferred that title on to you! You're being guilt tripped, hon.</p><p> </p><p>If I'm reading this right, she has four children, and all four will now be in school all day? And I'm assuming, from what you said, that she does not work outside the home? Still not easy and still a lot of work but she will now have all day to concentrate on her household chores. If this were my daughter, it would be a cold day in Hades before I'd be doing all the housekeeping while she was on the computer all day! The only way I would ever agree to go and help her would be with the understanding that she is doing the lions share of the work and that you are merely "helping". She doesn't have to do anything either because YOU are doing it for her! And if she feels free to verbally abuse you while you're busy doing HER housework ... again, if it were me, that would be when I leave! Ain't happening! And can the kids ride the bus to school instead of her chauffeuring them back and forth to school? That would help a little anyway.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="donna723, post: 376388, member: 1883"] I agree with klmno - the problem is not when you go or how long you stay or what you do while you're there. The problem is right there in the house with her already - she has a husband who won't lift a finger to help with HIS OWN CHILDREN and still expects perfection out of her! Under these conditions, I would be very reluctant to "help out" at all, especially since she is verbally abusing you and you are being treated like a servant! Sorry, but I just couldn't do that! There is no reason for him to help out if you go there for months at a time and slave away all day and in to the evening! He thinks it's OK for you to travel 1,200 miles to help out with HIS kids and HIS house ... while he's sitting right there like a big, useless lump? Her husband and his father are treating her like a servant and she has transferred that title on to you! You're being guilt tripped, hon. If I'm reading this right, she has four children, and all four will now be in school all day? And I'm assuming, from what you said, that she does not work outside the home? Still not easy and still a lot of work but she will now have all day to concentrate on her household chores. If this were my daughter, it would be a cold day in Hades before I'd be doing all the housekeeping while she was on the computer all day! The only way I would ever agree to go and help her would be with the understanding that she is doing the lions share of the work and that you are merely "helping". She doesn't have to do anything either because YOU are doing it for her! And if she feels free to verbally abuse you while you're busy doing HER housework ... again, if it were me, that would be when I leave! Ain't happening! And can the kids ride the bus to school instead of her chauffeuring them back and forth to school? That would help a little anyway. [/QUOTE]
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How much should a grandmother help with her daughters 4 children under 9???
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