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how much to ''help'' grown kids????
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<blockquote data-quote="Hound dog" data-source="post: 444584" data-attributes="member: 84"><p>I'd say you passed up "enough" a long time back somewhere.</p><p></p><p>I'm all for helping family, actually very huge on it. But there is a vast difference from helping someone and being used by someone. Them asking you for money ect while the boyfriend is doing nothing? Used, not helping.</p><p></p><p>He can chose to be a stay at home dad (sorry but to me that translates as I'm too darn lazy to get a job so I'll let my girlfriend support me) all he wants, but if that ain't paying the bills and putting food on the table then that just is NO longer an option, like it or not. He needs to get off his fanny and find work.</p><p></p><p>I dunno what is wrong with females today that they seem to have this warped thing going on where they don't pick males who act like a normal male. I know we're supposed to be all modern and such, but please, we didn't lose hundreds of thousands of years of evolution hunting for a man who can provide and protect the family in what 2 generations? phht. Lazy and users and girls falling for their garbage until they're sick of working themselves to death and give them the boot.</p><p></p><p>And I can say I was a stay at home mom but we paid our bills, kids didn't go hungry, and if money was tight I found ways to bring more in. We were poor but we made our way.</p><p></p><p>They are both old enough to take care of themselves. They can't learn to do that with a parent who continues to rescue them. You earned and lived within your means, time they do the same.</p><p></p><p>I don't loan money to adult kids. I can think of maybe less than a handful of times I gave them money. And I nearly always got it back in one form or another. If not cash then they'd do something for me or some such. If they can't pay their bills that is their problem. I have enough problems paying my own. I may help advise them on budgeting or something, ways to cut corners ect. But I don't pay bills either. </p><p></p><p>When you "help" that much, it's called enabling. Sounds like your daughter is a hard worker. Now it's time for her to realize she's the only one putting in any effort. </p><p></p><p>Hugs</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Hound dog, post: 444584, member: 84"] I'd say you passed up "enough" a long time back somewhere. I'm all for helping family, actually very huge on it. But there is a vast difference from helping someone and being used by someone. Them asking you for money ect while the boyfriend is doing nothing? Used, not helping. He can chose to be a stay at home dad (sorry but to me that translates as I'm too darn lazy to get a job so I'll let my girlfriend support me) all he wants, but if that ain't paying the bills and putting food on the table then that just is NO longer an option, like it or not. He needs to get off his fanny and find work. I dunno what is wrong with females today that they seem to have this warped thing going on where they don't pick males who act like a normal male. I know we're supposed to be all modern and such, but please, we didn't lose hundreds of thousands of years of evolution hunting for a man who can provide and protect the family in what 2 generations? phht. Lazy and users and girls falling for their garbage until they're sick of working themselves to death and give them the boot. And I can say I was a stay at home mom but we paid our bills, kids didn't go hungry, and if money was tight I found ways to bring more in. We were poor but we made our way. They are both old enough to take care of themselves. They can't learn to do that with a parent who continues to rescue them. You earned and lived within your means, time they do the same. I don't loan money to adult kids. I can think of maybe less than a handful of times I gave them money. And I nearly always got it back in one form or another. If not cash then they'd do something for me or some such. If they can't pay their bills that is their problem. I have enough problems paying my own. I may help advise them on budgeting or something, ways to cut corners ect. But I don't pay bills either. When you "help" that much, it's called enabling. Sounds like your daughter is a hard worker. Now it's time for her to realize she's the only one putting in any effort. Hugs [/QUOTE]
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how much to ''help'' grown kids????
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