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How to cope with a difficult child ALL the time - 24/7
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<blockquote data-quote="Hound dog" data-source="post: 357500" data-attributes="member: 84"><p>Welcome Nelly! <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite8" alt=":D" title="Big Grin :D" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":D" /></p><p></p><p>Sounds like difficult child is stuck between the Never Want to Grow Ups and the I Wanna Play House.</p><p></p><p>Problem is that she is already 18. You can no longer make any decisions for her unless you're willing to go thru the process of declaring her unable to do so herself.<img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/emoticons/faint.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":faint:" title="faint :faint:" data-shortname=":faint:" /></p><p></p><p>If it were my child, I'd simply <em><strong>stop</strong></em> doing <em><strong>everything</strong></em> for her. As long as she remained in my home it would be a world of <strong>do to get</strong>. </p><p></p><p>1. Don't clean up after her. If she doesn't clean, have some pretty solid consequences. Travis wouldn't clean, he wouldn't eat that day. Do to get. Don't bathe, don't eat. Don't put your dirty laundry in the laundry room. Wear dirty clothes.</p><p></p><p>2. Don't be her transportation. If she can't treat you with respect, she can walk. Simple.</p><p></p><p>3. If she is destructive to the home/you, call in the police and let them handle it. She's an adult.</p><p></p><p>You'll have to come up with your own list that fits the situation. But do to get is a good method because it's a huge lesson she is going to have to learn for when she does go out into the world. You can't treat someone horribly on one hand and yet expect them to take care of you on the other. Real life just doesn't work that way.</p><p></p><p>What worked for me was finding their biggest motivator and using it. Travis has autism. It was/is the only thing that will motivate him. And it was the only thing that ever really worked to any degree.</p><p></p><p>I remember back when I thought that life was going to be just peachy when my kids "turned 18 and left home". I used to count down the days (on bad difficult child days). Gawd! Was I naive. <img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/tongue.png" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":tongue:" title="tongue :tongue:" data-shortname=":tongue:" /></p><p></p><p>Others will be around with probably better advice. I just started my 1st cup of coffee and am not up to par at the moment. lol</p><p></p><p>((hugs))</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Hound dog, post: 357500, member: 84"] Welcome Nelly! :happy: Sounds like difficult child is stuck between the Never Want to Grow Ups and the I Wanna Play House. Problem is that she is already 18. You can no longer make any decisions for her unless you're willing to go thru the process of declaring her unable to do so herself.:knockedout: If it were my child, I'd simply [I][B]stop[/B][/I] doing [I][B]everything[/B][/I] for her. As long as she remained in my home it would be a world of [B]do to get[/B]. 1. Don't clean up after her. If she doesn't clean, have some pretty solid consequences. Travis wouldn't clean, he wouldn't eat that day. Do to get. Don't bathe, don't eat. Don't put your dirty laundry in the laundry room. Wear dirty clothes. 2. Don't be her transportation. If she can't treat you with respect, she can walk. Simple. 3. If she is destructive to the home/you, call in the police and let them handle it. She's an adult. You'll have to come up with your own list that fits the situation. But do to get is a good method because it's a huge lesson she is going to have to learn for when she does go out into the world. You can't treat someone horribly on one hand and yet expect them to take care of you on the other. Real life just doesn't work that way. What worked for me was finding their biggest motivator and using it. Travis has autism. It was/is the only thing that will motivate him. And it was the only thing that ever really worked to any degree. I remember back when I thought that life was going to be just peachy when my kids "turned 18 and left home". I used to count down the days (on bad difficult child days). Gawd! Was I naive. :raspberry-tounge: Others will be around with probably better advice. I just started my 1st cup of coffee and am not up to par at the moment. lol ((hugs)) [/QUOTE]
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