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How to cope with a difficult child ALL the time - 24/7
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<blockquote data-quote="Nomad" data-source="post: 358270"><p>I would tell her that in order to live in your home, she has to be respectful and make a real, honest to goodness attempt at work or school. AND make it clear that she is never ever ever to threaten you again. If she does so, than I would ask her to move out pronto. And offer this kid some therapy asap.</p><p> </p><p>I would encourage school first as opposed to work. (Edited...made an error before). She could go to therapy either way and should.</p><p> </p><p>Perhaps take her to the local community college and see what courses might be appropriate. If she has some fear issues, take her to a counselor there. She can always start part time. </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>I would give her a deadline to get moving on going to school and/or finding work and a little help, at least at first. Perhaps go with her to the school...but don't go overboard. Bottom line is that it is HER life. Set some boundaries in the home and between you and her.</p><p> </p><p>YOu might want to consider charging rent; especially if she is not going to school. </p><p>In order to pay rent, she'll have to work. If she doesnt' work, she'll have to move out. If she passes the deadline, go ahead and enforce some consequences. I would do your very best to encourage her to avoid these things...help her a little....and hope for the best. If it doesn't work out, make some suggestions on where she might live until if and when she thinks differently. You can make your door open if she has a change of heart. In the mean time, shake your own personal emotions out of this. How old is she? Surely, if she is 18....it is time for you to start thinking of her as a young adult who might have to learn things a different way than others. She might have to take each thing as a learning experience. Step out of her way. But...enjoy life. </p><p> </p><p>YOu might have to do this with her out of the home. Remember, if she continues to threaten you....she has to move out RIGHT AWAY. No ifs ands or buts. Don't even worry about it. Don't sweat it. It is what it is. Give her fair warning. Nothing more, nothing less. Do not put up with this behavior. And most importantly, don't fret over this. Easier said than done...but DO IT. She should know that there are logical consequences to crazy/bad behavior. IF she has inner turmoil, well, she can get some appropriate help. She can NOT be rude/disprectful and threatening to you and/or others. Period. End of story. Let it go. It will be a learning experience for her and RELIEF for you. </p><p> </p><p>This might be the best way to cope if she insists on "doing" life with an unhealthy atittude at the moment.</p><p>p.s. Yep, that "detachment" website mentioned is very good. I would re-read it several times: <a href="http://www.livestrong.com/article/14712-developing-detachment/" target="_blank">http://www.livestrong.com/article/14712-developing-detachment/</a></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Nomad, post: 358270"] I would tell her that in order to live in your home, she has to be respectful and make a real, honest to goodness attempt at work or school. AND make it clear that she is never ever ever to threaten you again. If she does so, than I would ask her to move out pronto. And offer this kid some therapy asap. I would encourage school first as opposed to work. (Edited...made an error before). She could go to therapy either way and should. Perhaps take her to the local community college and see what courses might be appropriate. If she has some fear issues, take her to a counselor there. She can always start part time. I would give her a deadline to get moving on going to school and/or finding work and a little help, at least at first. Perhaps go with her to the school...but don't go overboard. Bottom line is that it is HER life. Set some boundaries in the home and between you and her. YOu might want to consider charging rent; especially if she is not going to school. In order to pay rent, she'll have to work. If she doesnt' work, she'll have to move out. If she passes the deadline, go ahead and enforce some consequences. I would do your very best to encourage her to avoid these things...help her a little....and hope for the best. If it doesn't work out, make some suggestions on where she might live until if and when she thinks differently. You can make your door open if she has a change of heart. In the mean time, shake your own personal emotions out of this. How old is she? Surely, if she is 18....it is time for you to start thinking of her as a young adult who might have to learn things a different way than others. She might have to take each thing as a learning experience. Step out of her way. But...enjoy life. YOu might have to do this with her out of the home. Remember, if she continues to threaten you....she has to move out RIGHT AWAY. No ifs ands or buts. Don't even worry about it. Don't sweat it. It is what it is. Give her fair warning. Nothing more, nothing less. Do not put up with this behavior. And most importantly, don't fret over this. Easier said than done...but DO IT. She should know that there are logical consequences to crazy/bad behavior. IF she has inner turmoil, well, she can get some appropriate help. She can NOT be rude/disprectful and threatening to you and/or others. Period. End of story. Let it go. It will be a learning experience for her and RELIEF for you. This might be the best way to cope if she insists on "doing" life with an unhealthy atittude at the moment. p.s. Yep, that "detachment" website mentioned is very good. I would re-read it several times: [URL]http://www.livestrong.com/article/14712-developing-detachment/[/URL] [/QUOTE]
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