I'm glad you found us. There is a lot of wisdom and empathy on this site.
No one will judge you for the things you do, such as paying for a lawyer, but over time you may find that the only one who can save your son is himself. I spent years paying for lawyers, apartments, visiting my son in jail and rehab, many other expenses. Twenty years later, except for momentarily, nothing has changed. I think that's because my son never was the one who really wanted to change - he just didn't want to get caught or suffer the consequences of his choices.
I agree with those who suggest online or in person 12 step meetings. They have changed my life. Also, therapy, and keeping the focus on me, which to a heartbroken mom, seems crazy - but it works. Hugs.
