Please know you are not alone nor at blame. Im in the same boat, dealing with an abusive brother who I got an OOP against 30 years ago for beating up my mom and dad. I can hardly say this but Dad was a wheelchair bound invalid and I stood between my Mom and brother during her horrific abuse.
NOW, 30 YEARS LATER, I have housed my brother and he screwed mme over. I am now moving my sister to safety after she and her hubby took him 5 years ago. My brother in law died last April of panicatic cancer. Both brother in law and sister proud Marine and USAF. veterans.
Today was terribly hard. ANADYR - THE COURT granted an order of protection but I did reach out to my brother for a wellness check. They remanded him into treatment.Thank GOD! But his response to me, simply asking if he was ok was alsolutely vicious, for no reason.I want nothing from him, only to make sure he is ok.
My hard truth is this.
The man I care about is clouded now and does not exist.
Reality is not within his reckoning, as he is too ill to do so.
I will not reject him because of this. I will love and set boundaries. But always love.
I wil keep my hope but protect myself against any abuse of my heart
You and I, my dear, have true folks who care and love us.
We raised our kids our best.
Their choice is not our blame or shame.
My eldest daughter, a Narcissist, is simultaneously killing me by dandling my grandson as a pawn, not a precious child to be loved by me, who always put her first. Again, loving boundaries for all. Keep an opportunity open, without allowing harm to yourself.
Love yourself a bit more. Half a century, and I am getting it now. I found this forum after seeing many a gal friend go through the same.
It sucks to speak of it. But it is NOT you. Many hugs to you - ever.
