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How to deal with narcissistic son
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<blockquote data-quote="Acacia" data-source="post: 728918" data-attributes="member: 19832"><p>I having been reading and posting on this site for two years now, and it has helped me immeasurably. Still I am struggling. </p><p></p><p>Right now I need help to overcome my fears and do the right thing.</p><p></p><p>Quick backstory on one of my difficult children: son 32, malignant narcissist, in jail numerous times, due to be released this spring. Years of hell, threatened both my husband and me when active drug user 10 years ago and has never made amends. He is intimidating and bullying although he has been the victim of violence more than the perpetrator. Always says how awful I am despite my continued support. Have set more and more boundaries though, which is progress. </p><p></p><p>Has 2 year old with ex, who is an addict. Child is foster care for second time. Heartbreaking details of abuse and neglect from mother. Son believes he will be ideal parent when he get outs this spring and is petitioning the court although he has no money, no home, no transportation, etc. Asked me to take child, wants to use my address. I won't do either because of how difficult he is. He is extremely manipulative, we live in the same town, and I am afraid of his anger. My husband won't have anything to do with him because of my son's lies, irrationality, and delusions about himself and has concerns about safety. </p><p></p><p>Here's the problem. I find myself unable to be honest with him about how unrealistic he is or that I believe he is in no position to parent. I feel it is not my job to tell him, but he takes my silence as support. I don't visit him, but he keeps calling and talking about how he appreciates that I am supporting him in trying to get custody of his daughter. I did copy papers for him and go to the court date, but I didn't say anything. I am a nervous wreck. </p><p></p><p>Any advice is appreciated about what and what not to do in regards to dealing with extreme narcissism - everyone is to blame except him.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Acacia, post: 728918, member: 19832"] I having been reading and posting on this site for two years now, and it has helped me immeasurably. Still I am struggling. Right now I need help to overcome my fears and do the right thing. Quick backstory on one of my difficult children: son 32, malignant narcissist, in jail numerous times, due to be released this spring. Years of hell, threatened both my husband and me when active drug user 10 years ago and has never made amends. He is intimidating and bullying although he has been the victim of violence more than the perpetrator. Always says how awful I am despite my continued support. Have set more and more boundaries though, which is progress. Has 2 year old with ex, who is an addict. Child is foster care for second time. Heartbreaking details of abuse and neglect from mother. Son believes he will be ideal parent when he get outs this spring and is petitioning the court although he has no money, no home, no transportation, etc. Asked me to take child, wants to use my address. I won't do either because of how difficult he is. He is extremely manipulative, we live in the same town, and I am afraid of his anger. My husband won't have anything to do with him because of my son's lies, irrationality, and delusions about himself and has concerns about safety. Here's the problem. I find myself unable to be honest with him about how unrealistic he is or that I believe he is in no position to parent. I feel it is not my job to tell him, but he takes my silence as support. I don't visit him, but he keeps calling and talking about how he appreciates that I am supporting him in trying to get custody of his daughter. I did copy papers for him and go to the court date, but I didn't say anything. I am a nervous wreck. Any advice is appreciated about what and what not to do in regards to dealing with extreme narcissism - everyone is to blame except him. [/QUOTE]
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