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How to deal with narcissistic son
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 728947" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>This is a very hard situation. There is a young child who needs and deserves protection. The child's needs should be the focus. Sadly, you know that won't be the case with your son. It just won't be. </p><p></p><p>You also know that telling him that you don't support him having custody will bring about a blowup. Right now he seems to be in custody. If that is so, it might be the very place to tell him you won't help him, if you are going to tell him that. Why? Because his outburst will be controlled and won't be able to be aimed at you or at his child. I am just not sure he would even hear or remember what you said. WHy waste your breathe, your time or your energy?</p><p></p><p>Tanya's advice is well tested. Having those stock phrases that you can say to him are often the key to interacting with him. You don't owe him any explanation, ever. He wouldn't understand the words that you said anyway, not any directed at him. He would just try to use them to upset you and to get what you want. Post those phrases near the phone. Keep a copy where you sit when you talk on the phone. Keep a copy in your purse. Heck, have them come up as the background on your phone if he calls on your cell phone.</p><p></p><p>Don't fall for his nice routine. It means he wants something from you, that is all. It does not mean he has changed. </p><p></p><p>I am sorry your grandchild was abused and neglected. That is very hard to handle.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 728947, member: 1233"] This is a very hard situation. There is a young child who needs and deserves protection. The child's needs should be the focus. Sadly, you know that won't be the case with your son. It just won't be. You also know that telling him that you don't support him having custody will bring about a blowup. Right now he seems to be in custody. If that is so, it might be the very place to tell him you won't help him, if you are going to tell him that. Why? Because his outburst will be controlled and won't be able to be aimed at you or at his child. I am just not sure he would even hear or remember what you said. WHy waste your breathe, your time or your energy? Tanya's advice is well tested. Having those stock phrases that you can say to him are often the key to interacting with him. You don't owe him any explanation, ever. He wouldn't understand the words that you said anyway, not any directed at him. He would just try to use them to upset you and to get what you want. Post those phrases near the phone. Keep a copy where you sit when you talk on the phone. Keep a copy in your purse. Heck, have them come up as the background on your phone if he calls on your cell phone. Don't fall for his nice routine. It means he wants something from you, that is all. It does not mean he has changed. I am sorry your grandchild was abused and neglected. That is very hard to handle. [/QUOTE]
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How to deal with narcissistic son
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